AUDIO: SHAVED KITTIES PERPLEX POLICE
Police in Waynesboro, Virginia, are investigating reports of someone abducting cats and shaving their underbellies or legs. The Waynesboro Police Department said that, since December, at least seven cats have been taken and shaved, but have all returned otherwise unharmed. Police Capt. Kelly Walker is not sure what crime has been committed, but the pet owners “would just like it to stop.”
* Is there a barber school in Waynesboro?
* Maybe it’s the work of the nefarious Mad Waxer.
* Well, some of these kitties have boyfriends, you see, and they see things in magazines and such …
* Fewer hairballs to throw up. That’s win-win.
* Just a thought – isn’t “underbellies” redundant?
* If you see a cat with its belly on top, it means the Fukashima fallout DID reach here.
* You’ve heard of Kinky Boots? This is Kinky Puss In Boots.
* This is one where we don’t really want to know why – we just want it over.
* Whoever is shaving the cats sounds like one sick puppy.
* There is some good news: It sounds like the space aliens have moved on from the cattle mutilations.
* The shaved cats were so traumatized that one of them actually appeared to care for a second.
CLIP: Hedley Lamar from “Blazing Saddles” says, “Kinky.”
