MAN BITES DOG

A Brevard County, Florida, man was arrested for biting the family dog. According to investigators, Zachary Kelly, 30, became upset with Phoebe, a four-month-old puppy who was “acting up.” He said he wanted to “teach the dog a lesson.” Kelly reportedly held the dog down and bit her on the ears, causing the animal to repeatedly yelp.
* He should have told police he was a dog whisperer, and he was just whispering something into its ear.
* Like the words, “I’m going to bite you.”
* Yuck. Dog ear wax.
* Oh, he taught the dog a lesson, all right. The lesson is “Zachary’s a Douche.”
* A four-month-old puppy acting up? What are the odds?
* Should have gotten something that will sit still all day – like a turtle.
* In truth, he just had a craving for Filipino food.
* If you were a dog and they named you Phoebe you’d act up too.
* Kelly sounds like one sick puppy himself.
* The puppy learned a valuable lesson: that teeth hurt.
* All that other stuff about acting up? The puppy doesn’t have a clue what Kelly was saying about that.