MAN ARRESTED ON WHITE HOUSE SOUTH LAWN

A man from California carrying a backpack scaled a White House fence Friday night and was arrested on the South Lawn of the presidential residence. The suspect was identified by D.C. police as Jonathan Tran, 26. On Saturday, President Trump said the “Secret Service service did a fantastic job last night.” Trump described the suspect as a “troubled person.”
* Pause and let that sink in a moment.
* Are they sure the guy wasn’t a member of the Trump administration trying to escape?
* You know what the White House needs? A taller fence.
* Sadly, the guy was Joe Biden.
* The guy was from California? I guess “crazy” travels well.
* California, huh? Wait, has anyone seen Arnold lately?
* Trump’s been basically trash-talking Arnold into the ground lately over this Apprentice thing.
* This is where you ask Arnold, “Over this Apprentice thing?” And he says, “No, I’ll never get over it.”