86-YEAR-OLD SERIAL JEWELRY THIEF

Doris Payne, an 86-year-old woman police call the “granny gem thief”, was arrested Tuesday at a mall in an Atlanta suburb where she’s accused of trying to steal a $2,000 necklace. Police say Payne slipped the diamond necklace into her pocket at a department store and tried to leave. Payne was last arrested in October 2015 when police say she took $700 earrings from an Atlanta store. Payne had previously been arrested in Greece, Switzerland, France, and beyond. In a 2014 interview, she said she started stealing watches in her 20s to escape a life of poverty in West Virginia and kept up the habit in later life. She’s stolen $2 million worth of jewelry over her lifetime, per the Journal-Constitution, which notes she tends to serve only a short time in jail before getting let out for good behavior.
* Wait – the time she spends in jail is not where we need her to behave.
* She’s only been doing this for 60 years – you can’t expect law enforcement to catch on to her pattern overnight.
* The Grey Panther?
* See? Except for the two million dollars, crime doesn’t pay at all.
* Screenplay alert!
* Gee, and so many 80-somethings just sit around all day. What a bunch of lazybones!
* She may have to stop soon. She’s running out of countries to steal from.
* At the very least, you have to admire the persistence.