The 10-year-old Florida girl who was attacked by an alligator while she sat in shallow water pried open the gator’s mouth to set herself free. The girl was in a designated swimming area of an Orlando-area park at about 2:30 p.m. on Saturday, sitting in about two feet of water when an 8-foot-9-inch alligator lunged at her calf and knee. Instead of panicking, she pried open its mouth to set her leg free. The girl was with her family at the park. A lifeguard was on duty.
* Nice work, lifeguard!
* I guess he was guarding his own life.
* And that’s the difference between a native Floridian and a tourist.
* And then she grabbed one of those 10-foot Florida pythons and tied the alligator up.
* Way to go, kid. That’s how we took over this planet.
* We didn’t grow to 7 and a half billion people by wilting every time an alligator bit us.
* Frankly, I feel proud of my whole species today.
* This was either the wimpiest alligator ever, or it just wasn’t really all that hungry.