ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- ADELE'S "HAUNTED" MANSION UNSELLABLE, SAYS CURRENT OWNER
Spoiler: He actually just wants a zoning change.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- WILLEM DAFOE RANDOMLY STOPPED FOR A STREET INTERVIEW
"Don't you know who I am?" he didn't say.
- 79 WAHLBURGERS TO GO
Trouble in Wahlburgerland.
- RAZZIE AWARD NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED
No arguments here.
- JERRY SEINFELD REFUSES $25 MILLION FOR ONE OF HIS CARS
It's not the Saab 900.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- COUNTRY STAR ORVILLE PECK TO STAR IN "CABARET" ON BROADWAY
Howdy, Bienvenue, Howdy.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- BETTY WHITE: FAT SHAMER
The dark side of Betty White.
- SNL: THE IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE
Live from New York: It's you!
U.S. NEWS
- WOMAN GIVES BIRTH IN KRISPY KREME LOT; FREE DONUTS FOR A YEAR
Could have been worse. Could have been a Chipotle.
- PHILADELPHIA WOMAN NAMES HER SON CHEESESTEAK
With provolone, or that awful cheeze whiz stuff?
- THE MAN WHO LEAKED CHOLESTEROL
Enjoy your breakfast, everyone!
- COP CRASHES CRUISER WHILE LOOKING AT PHONE PORN
It took forever to pull a confession out of him.
- COURT: ELEPHANTS ARE NOT PEOPLE
Nor are they garden implements.
- AUDIO: HUMAN HEAD WASHES UP ON FLORIDA BEACH
(gasp) Ben Gardner!
- AUDIO: PHILLY MAYOR FLUBS "EAGLES" CHANT
Gimme an E, maybe!
- COMPANY FIRES WORKERS BY SENDING PICTURE OF A DUCK
Quack quack, you're fired.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- MAN'S PENIS STUCK TO FROZEN STREET
Frostbite me.
- DAD SCOLDS SON, SON SNITCHES ON DAD TO COPS
Chinese junk.
- RECORD SET FOR UNDERWATER LIVING: 120 DAYS
Water world.
- LOAD OF ANTI-TANK MINES MISTAKENLY LEFT AT IKEA WAREHOUSE
Have the troops assemble, lieutenant.
- ROCK BAND BRINGS DOWN THE CEILING DURING CONCERT
Yes, they brought down the house.
- COST OF CLIMBING MT. EVEREST JUST WENT UP
Things are up all over.
- NHL GOALIE LETS ONE BY, DISTRACTED BY PLATE OF NACHOS
How can any sane person do that to a plate of nachos?
THE BUZZ
- MY STRANGEST PUNISHMENT
Bad boys, whatcha gonna do?
- HOW TO HANG YOUR TOILET PAPER, BY AN EXPERT TOILET PAPEROLOGIST
♫ "GregWeaver / He believes it should hang out from the to-oppp..." ♪♪♫
- THAT'S DISGUSTING
Icky.
- DUMB HEADLINES
Talk about them, goof on them, then have listeners vote for the dumbest.
- SEXPERT: CRYING MEN MAKE THE BEST LOVERS
I married a wuss.
- GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY
In a good way.
NEW MOVIES
- FLIGHT RISK
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- PRESENCE
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- BRAVE THE DARK
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- WOLF MAN
Starts Friday, January 17 in theaters.
- SEPTEMBER 5
Starts Friday, January 17 in theaters.
- ONE OF THEM DAYS
Starts Friday, January 17 in theaters.
- THE LAST SHOWGIRL
Starts Friday, January 10 in theaters.
- DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA
Starts Friday, January 10 in theaters.
- GILDED AGE FAIRE
Why, it's like you're already there!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 24.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Warehouse Sale
This could be their hottest sale ever!
- HEMMORIMPLELACTOSNEEZARIA
Ask for it by name, if you dare.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 17.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Keep Coming Back
Once you buy a car from A&M, you're sure to come back. Unfortunately.
- LIFE STAIR CROSS TRAINER MASTER RIDER
It's every exercise machine in one!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 10.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Year-End Leftovers
Get 'em while they're not-so-hot!
- BIG VINNIE'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ENFORCEMENT
Happy new year ---- or else.
- THE TUESDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
Movies opening on Xmas Day. This is for TUESDAY, December 24!
- SONG: IT'S THE WORST TRAVELING TIME OF THE YEAR
You know the words - everybody sing!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 20