ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- GUY FIERI AND SAMMY HAGAR'S TEQUILA BATCH HIJACKED
Holy moly, Stromboli!
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- JASON KELCE AND STEVIE NICKS RECORD A CHRISTMAS DUET
It's not ho-ho-horrible.
- WHOOPI GOLDBERG LAUNCHES ALL-FEMALE SPORTS NETWORK
You go, girls.
- ARMIE HAMMER'S MOM GAVE HIM A VASECTOMY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
I like the cut of her jib.
- BLAKE SHELTON & TAYLOR SHERIDAN PRODUCING SINGING COMPETITION SHOW
Contestants, pack your bags.
- WEB ADDRESS ON "WICKED" DOLL BOX IS PORN SITE
“Of course, some people do go both ways.” - The Scarecrow
- MISS PANAMA BOOTED FROM MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT
And don't come back!
- THE TOP TEN SEXIEST BALD MEN
#1: Prince William, by a whisker.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- GRAMMY AWARD NOMINATIONS
a.k.a the "Let's Make Beyoncé Feel Better" awards.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
U.S. NEWS
- OARFISH, OMEN OF DOOM, WASHES UP ON CALIFORNIA BEACH
And it was thiiiiiiiiiss big, I swear.
- THIEVES STEAL CHURCH TOILET
Police have nothing to etc....
- KFC-SCENTED CANDLES
If there was ever an idea that needed to be snuffed.
- KUM & GO STORES REBRANDING
(snicker)
- THE POOPCOPTER
Doo-B-Gone.
- INSURANCE FRAUDSTERS USED BEAR COSTUME
Mental Ben.
- MAN DIES IN TANNING BED
Tanned, rested and deady.
- DISNEY GUESTS COMPLAIN RE-TOOLED SPLASH MOUNTAIN RIDE TOO WET
Let's see... log boats... water... am I going to get wet?
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- WHEN OCTOPUSES RULE THE WORLD
Oh, please. You're kraken me up.
- NORWEGIAN FISHERMEN CATCH AMERICAN NUCLEAR SUBMARINE
Bottom fishing.
- AUDIO: "GRANDMA" CHATBOT FIGHTS BACK AGAINST PHONE SCAMMERS
I would buy the album of this.
- SWEDISH MOOSE STOMPS BEEMERS
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti.
- CIGARETTE SMUGGLER FLOATS ACROSS RIVER DISGUISED AS A WATER PLANT
Smoke and mirrors.
- RUSSIAN BILLIONAIRE PROMISES FREE IN-VITRO, IF YOU USE HIS SPERM
Not even dinner and a movie?
- HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS INVENT SMART GARBAGE CANS
Smarter than high school boys.
THE BUZZ
- THE MOST COMPLICATED THINGS IN THE WORLD
Nothing is easy.
- CPR BY THE AVERAGE PERSON SAVES LIVES
What about the below-average person?
- DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, have listeners vote for the dumbest one.
- WEIRD NAMES PARENTS GAVE THEIR KIDS LAST YEAR
They should be fined.
- WEIRD THINGS PARENTS FIND IN THEIR CHILD'S ROOM
Don't look if you don't want to know.
- ACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN A MARRIAGE
They don't have to know everything.
NEW MOVIES
- RED ONE
Starts Friday, November 15 in theaters.
- HERETIC
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- ELEVATION
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- JUROR NUMBER 2
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- ABSOLUTION
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- HERE
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- VENOM - THE LAST DANCE
Starts Friday, October 25 in theaters.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 15,
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Stilts
This might be the only time Big Mike actually looked up to Big Al.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 8.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements.
- A & M AUTOLAND - Contest
Al and Mike won't play games with you like other car dealers. They'll play MORE.
- THE LIMP LINGUINI ENDLESS NOODLE
Sorry, only one to a customer.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 1.
- TRICK OR TROUT
The unexpected trick-or-treat!
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use pre-produced bumper donuts
- VAMPIRE FLEX TAPE
Don't leave the crypt without it!
- A & M AUTOLAND - Halloween Pumpkins
Al and Mike's new promotion isn't too bright - but the burning car is!
- SONG: IT'S ELECTION TIME
Halloween + Election = Comedy
- FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR - 2024
Pretty scary, eh, kids?
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 25.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements