Pope Francis is known for personally calling people, and he likes to call your station. This time, he’s talking about the summer movies.
The audio and the script are below. Better yet, use the script and have somebody from your morning team play the Pope live on the phone.
PHONE CALL FROM THE POPE – SUMMER MOVIES
JOCK: WE’RE GETTING A PHONE CALL HERE… LET ME GET THIS. HELLO?
(CHOIR: AHH-AHHHH, MUSIC)
POPE: BUENO! ALLO EVERYBODY!
JOCK: WHO IS THIS?
POPE: IT IS I, POPE FRANCIS! CALLING YOU ONCE AGAIN.
JOCK: HEY, POPE FRANCIS. WHAT’S NEW?
POPE: I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE MOVIES.
JOCK: YOU HAVE MOVIES AT THE VATICAN?
POPE: SI’, WE BLOW UP ONE OF THOSE INFLATABLE SCREENS INSIDE THE SISTINE CHAPEL.
JOCK: THE SISTINE CHAPEL?
POPE: THE SEATS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT THE ACOUSTICS ARE PRIMO.
JOCK: GREAT.
POPE: I GRAB A MITRE OF HOT BUTTERED POPE-CORN, THROW ON A LITTLE TABASCO, AND OFF AWAY GO.
JOCK: I’M GLAD THAT HAT’S GOOD FOR SOMETHING. WHAT DID YOU SEE?
POPE: THE HY-ARDIANS OF THE HY-ALAXY.
JOCK: THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.
POPE: RATED P-HEE -13.
JOCK: YOU LIKE THE COMIC BOOK MOVIES?
POPE: OH, SI’, I LIKE THE SUPERMENS, I LIKE IRON-MENS, I LIKE ES-SPIDER-MENS…
JOCK: ES-SPIDER MENS?
POPE: BUT I DO NOT LIKE THOR.
JOCK: NO?
POPE: THERE IS ONLY ONE GHY-OD OF THUNDER IN MY BOOK. I LOOK IN THE BIBLE, IT DOES NOT GO “MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE AND THOR.”
JOCK: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF “HERCULES”?
POPE: OH, JES. HHY-ERCULES? I AM TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO DO THAT THING HE DOES WITH THE EYEBROW. IT WOULD REALLY HELP DURING CONFESSION.
JOCK: YEAH, I BET. DID YOU SEE LUCY?
POPE: AH, LUCIA! I LOVE SCARLETT JOE-HANSSON.
JOCK: YOU MEAN YO-HANSSON?
POPE: JES.
JOCK: DID YOU SEE “PLANET OF THE APES”?
POPE: OH! BITE YOUR TONGUE.
JOCK: AND WITH THAT, WE’D BETTER SAY GOODBYE.
POPE: OK, ADIOS! I HAVE TO GET MY BLUE RAY COPIES OF NOAH.
JOCK: HOW MANY COPIES ARE YOU BUYING?
POPE: ALL OF THEM. IT’S MY STOCKING STUFFERS FOR CHRISTMAS.
JOCK: OK, WELL, THANKS FOR CALLING, POPE.
POPE: SI’, ADIOS, AMERICA!
JOCK: S’ALRIGHT?
POPE: S’ALLLLLLRIGHTEOUS.
