ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- AUDIO: FANS HATE THE NEW "WHITE LOTUS" THEME SONG
Because it's NEW.
- RENT MICHAEL JORDAN'S OLD HOUSE FOR MARCH MADNESS
It's madness, alright.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- KANYE AND BIANCA: WE THOUGHT IT WOULD LAST FOREVER
Oh no! Anyway...
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME NOMINEES ANNOUNCED
"It's an honor just to be nominated." - Phish
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- AUDIO - SUPER BOWL LIX COMMERCIALS
Audio of the best commercials.
- AMERICA'S ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOVIE
Life is like a box of popcorn.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- INSIDE TAYLOR SWIFT'S BOX AT THE SUPER BOWL
Good eatin'.
- NFL GAME TO PLAY IN AUSTRALIA
˙ɯnʞuᴉp ɹᴉɐℲ
U.S. NEWS
- PRISON SMUGGLERS ARRESTED WITH AIR CANNON
A couple of loose cannons.
- FLORIDA WOMAN'S DATE CANCELS, SHE ATTACKS HIM WITH GARDEN HOE
Hoe - ho ho!
- WILD HONEY DROVE MAN MAD
Honey don't.
- OKLAHOMA MAN COLLECTS BRICKS
Thick as a brick.
- IDAHO MAN BREAKS JUGGLING RECORD
Balls in the air.
- JUDGE SENTENCES SHOPLIFTERS TO WASH CARS
You missed a spot.
- TRADER JOES SELLS FERTILIZED EGGS. SOMEBODY HATCHED THEM.
Chicka boom.
- THE COST OF VALENTINE CHOCOLATES HAS GONE UP
Why not a nice box of Crunchy Frog instead?
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- CHINA SNOW VILLAGE FAKES THE SNOW
"The swing of a sword cannot cut the mist from the sky." - Li He (or maybe Jackie Chan, not sure)
- PRANKSTER CHANGES DIRECTIONAL ARROW DURING 10k RUN
Anyone see the finish line around here?
- PLANE TURNS UPSIDE-DOWN IN CRASH LANDING
Denzel!
- MAN FROM AMAZON NO-CONTACT TRIBE WANDERS INTO RURAL TOWN
Boy, Amazon delivers everywhere!
- NEWEST ROBBERY TARGET: OZEMPIC
Chances of catching the guys are slim.
- SHARK BITES OFF WOMAN'S HANDS WHILE SHE TRIES TO GET SELFIE
This was no boating accident.
- WHALE SWALLOWS KAYAKER, TEMPORARILY
"Oh, look - krill! " - Dory
THE BUZZ
- AUDIO: YOUR IDEA FOR A GAME SHOW
(buzz) Wrong.
- FRANKLY, IT WASN’T THAT BIG A DEAL
Meh.
- MUSIC WHILE YOU WORK
Go with the (work) flow.
- MY STUPID IDEA THAT WORKED
Eureka!
- VALENTINE'S DAY SURVEY
Another Hallmark holiday.
- WORST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER
There's a good one?
NEW MOVIES
- THE MONKEY
Starts Friday, February 21 in theaters.
- CLEANER
Starts Friday, February 21 in theaters.
- CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD
Starts Friday, February 14 in theaters.
- PADDINGTON IN PERU
Starts Friday, February 14 in theaters.
- LOVE HURTS
Starts Friday, February 7 in theaters.
- HEART EYES
Starts Friday, February 7 in theaters.
- COMPANION
Starts Friday, January 31 in theaters.
- DOG MAN
Starts Friday, January 31 in theaters.
- A&M AUTOLAND - Roundup
If Big Al's wearing a cowboy outfit, is he ranch dressing?
- MCQUEASY'S SNOW BLOWER CLEANING
Located next to the Urgent Care building.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, February 14.
- VALENTINE'S - TED'S EDIBLE UNDERWEAR
Sexy shopping for Valentine's Day!
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Valentine's Day Kissing Booth
Al wants a kiss, but instead gets a smack.
- VALENTINE HOUSE OF HORROR
Heart-pounding horror!
- SUPER BOWL / FIGARO SONG
Lend me a tenor.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, February 7.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements.
- A&M AUTOLAND - You Won't Find a Better Deal
This time Al and Mike might be telling the truth.
- CONSENSUAL VALENTINE CARDS
I love you, with permission.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 31.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Is Cars
A & M Autoland Is Cars! And Al and Mike am stupid.
- GILDED AGE FAIRE
Why, it's like you're already there!