ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- OSCARS VOTING, NOMINATIONS SCHEDULE CHANGES DUE TO FIRE
Oh, Hollywood, never change.
- THERE WAS A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT LAST WEEKEND?
There she was, Miss America.
- THE GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD WINNERS LIST
Now we'll never get in to see "Emilia Pérez".
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- WHAT TED DANSON SAYS AFTER SEX
"Norm"?
- NAKED SLEEPWALKING PODCASTER CHARGED WITH LEWDNESS
He made his bed, now he has to try to lie in it.
- NICOLE KIDMAN AND KEITH URBAN'S SECRET TO HAPPY MARRIAGE
Time for a bathroom remodel.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- THE MOST-WATCHED TV SHOWS OF LAST YEAR
Everybody Loves Sheldon.
- "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" LOOKING FOR A YOUNG ETHAN HUNT
Good morning, Master Hunt.
- AMAZON EDITS "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"
It's a wonderful life; it's a horrible edit.
U.S. NEWS
- POLICE SEEK MINIBIKE ASS-SLAPPER
Spank you very much.
- L.A. MILLIONAIRE OFFERS TO PAY "ANY AMOUNT" FOR PRIVATE FIREFIGHTERS
Money to burn.
- FLORIDA ORANGE JUICE? NOT FOR MUCH LONGER
Squeezed out of the state.
- WOMAN ADVERTISES FOR A GIRLFRIEND FOR HER SON
Mom, no!
- NEW TIKTOK TREND: GLICKLES
Glitter pickles.
- ROBBER FAILS GETAWAY IN A WAYMO ROBOT CAR
Next time, maybe try a Lime scooter.
- FLORIDA MAN DAMAGES CAR BECAUSE HE WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS
In Florida, this makes sense.
- GIRL SCOUT COOKIES: LAST CALL FOR S'MORES AND TOAST-YAYS
S''more is less.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- AUSTRALIAN POLICE SEEK SELF-IGNITING ARSONIST
Hot stuff.
- GERMAN WOMAN BUSTED SMUGGLING 460 CHOCOLATE BARS
Bar none.
- BRITISH TOWN REJECTS NEW PIZZA SHOP BECAUSE LOCAL KIDS ARE "TOO FAT"
Especially you, Dudley.
- CITY COUNCILWOMAN TOOK THE TOILET, SINKS WHEN SHE LEFT OFFICE
Darn tootin'.
- HOT DOGS BANNED IN NORTH KOREA
Hold the relish.
- DRUNK POLICE OFFICER RELEASED PRISONERS SO THEY COULD CELEBRATE NEW YEAR'S
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
- 8-YEAR-OLD BOY SURVIVES FIVE DAYS LOST IN SAFARI PARK
Safari, so good.
THE BUZZ
- HOW DID YOU FIRST MEET YOUR DOG?
Heartworming-- er, warming stories.
- EVEN MORE TECHNOLOGY AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
Sorry, I need to get this. Oh, look - my cat is pooping!
- DUMB HEADLINES
We kick off a new year of the internet's dumbest headlines.
- MORE AMAZING THINGS AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
Coming soon to a Brookstone near you (are they still in business?)
- UNCOMFORTABLENESS
Stop looking at me.
- AMAZING GIZMOS AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
The World of Tomorrow!
NEW MOVIES
- THE LAST SHOWGIRL
Starts Friday, January 10 in theaters.
- DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA
Starts Friday, January 10 in theaters.
- A COMPLETE UNKNOWN
Starts Wednesday, December 25 - Christmas Day.
- NOSFERATU
Starts Wednesday, December 25 - Christmas Day.
- BABYGIRL
Starts Wednesday, December 25 - Christmas Day.
- MUFASA: THE LION KING
Starts Friday, December 20 in theaters.
- SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3
Starts Friday, December 20 in theaters.
- KRAVEN THE HUNTER
Starts Friday, December 13 in theaters.
- LIFE STAIR CROSS TRAINER MASTER RIDER
It's every exercise machine in one!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 10.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Year-End Leftovers
Get 'em while they're not-so-hot!
- BIG VINNIE'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ENFORCEMENT
Happy new year ---- or else.
- THE TUESDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
Movies opening on Xmas Day. This is for TUESDAY, December 24!
- SONG: IT'S THE WORST TRAVELING TIME OF THE YEAR
You know the words - everybody sing!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 20
- HARD-TO-STORE XMAS DECORATIONS
Better rent a storage unit.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Week Before Christmas
It's not Christmas joy that has Big Al all choked up.
- SONG: MOMMY YELLS
It's Christmastime in the family.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 13.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Christmas Trees
Big Al wants A & M to branch out into the tree business.
- SANTA NINJA WARRIOR
Up on the housetop, clomp clomp clomp.