In Indianapolis, a man missing for three days was discovered dead in a Planet Fitness tanning bed. The body of Derek Sink, 39, was found around 9 a.m. — about four hours after the fitness center opened for business. The gym closes at 9 p.m. on Fridays and is open from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. On Sunday, Mr. Sink was reported missing by family who had not heard from him since Friday. A woman who visited the gym Monday morning said a foul smell was wafting through the building before the body was found in the tanning bed. (* Have you been to a gym? How can you tell the difference?) A needle was found in the tanning room at Planet Fitness. Mr. Sink’s family told the local news that he had dealt with drug problems, but he will be remembered as a kindly person.
* He was kindly; now he’s sorta jerky.
* Please tell me nobody said “Stick a fork in him, he’s done.”
* Came THIS CLOSE to a free cremation.
* I do feel sorry for the family. They’ve still got to pay two more years on his gym membership.