A naked man was arrested by police after he was found hiding in a crawl space beneath a 93-year-old woman’s house in El Sereno, California. Issac Betancourt, 27, is believed to have been living underneath the home for nearly six months. Police said that the extraction took hours and countless resources, including police dogs and tear gas (* He finally agreed to come out when they told him the election was over). Ricardo Silva, the son-in-law of the homeowner, said they heard strange noises for weeks on end, but assumed that it was a wild animal. They called police once the noises became impossible to ignore. The crawl space was barely 2 feet tall and spanned across the bottom of the house with three different entryways. The family is planning to board up the crawl space as soon as possible.
* Get that HGTV guy Scott McGillivray to come in and remodel that crawl space, turn it into a rental for a college student or something.
* What are they arresting him for? Felony hibernation?
* No, he didn’t HAVE to be naked, but, y’know – California.
* When they drove him down to the police station, he asked if he could ride in the trunk.
* He should be able to stand up straight in a few weeks.