In Coconut Creek, Florida, a man has been charged with assault after allegedly threatening his son with a machete for forgetting to wish him a happy birthday. Police say that Laron Whiters, 56, became irate that his son did not wish him a happy birthday. Mr. Whiters demanded that his son leave the house, to which he refused. Mr. Whiters then went to the garage and began packing his son’s belongings. While doing so, he retrieved a machete and threatened his son, before eventually placing the machete down and moving his son’s belongings to the driveway. There was a small physical confrontation, police were called, and eventually Mr. Whiters was arrested and the machete was recovered. The son declined to press charges.
* Well, there, you see? “Declined to press charges.” There’s a nice birthday gift. Practical and personal.
* I think this would qualify more as an UNhappy birthday.
* Is there a card for this? “To say Happy Birthday / I sometimes fergits / But please, dear Daddy / Don’t chop me to bits.”
* Maybe the machete was to cut the birthday cake?