If you’ve ever been to a SeaWorld park, you know that the front rows of the orca show are designated as “splash zones,” because you’re going to get wet. Over the October 19th weekend at SeaWorld in San Antonio, Texas, guests were watching Shamu swim around the tank preparing for his next trick – I’m sorry – his next “behavior” – when suddenly Shamu did in the tank what bears do in the woods. And then, he jumped, and the feces-filled water splashed over the first few rows of SeaWorld guests. Park employees quickly led impacted guests to a designated decontamination location where they received bottled water, soap, and towels. They were also invited to use the park’s bathing facilities. SeaWorld San Antonio issued an apology saying, “We regret this unfortunate event and are taking every step to ensure the safety and comfort of our guests. Our team followed established protocols to minimize health risks and will review our procedures to prevent this from happening again.”
* Shamu? More like Sham-poo.
* “SeaWorld – The Crappiest Place on Earth!”
* In the Inuit culture, this means you’ll have good luck. Good, smelly luck.
* The “splash zones” are now called “splash-n-plop zones.”
* I suppose now they need to hire someone to give the whale an enema before the show.
* (knock knock) “Shamu, showtime! You’re on!” “Can you give me five more minutes? I’m having tummy troubles.” “No! Get out of there and perform for the people!”