In Seminole, Florida, a woman was arrested for domestic battery after attacking her boyfriend because he didn’t want to cuddle with her. Investigators say Jillian Uygun, 22, argued with her boyfriend regarding his disinterest in physical intimacy. As Uygun “continually tried to ‘cuddle’ with the victim,” she allegedly escalated the dispute into a physical confrontation, grabbing the victim’s chest hair, scratching his face, biting him on the forehead, and breaking his — his phone. After being read her rights, Uygun reportedly admitted that she “continued to touch victim multiple times after being repeatedly told to stop.” She characterized the touching as “cuddling.”
* She gots to have it.
* ♬ ♩ “You say ‘to-MAY-to,’ I say ‘to-MAH-to;’ you say ‘cuddling,’ I say ‘assault and battery’…” ♫ ♪
* How do you bite someone on the forehead? Unless maybe he’s Megamind.
* In defense of the boyfriend, it was summer in Florida. It’s hot, it’s sticky, no one wants to touch anything that time of year.