ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- DAVID LETTERMAN CALLED, PASSED OVER FOR JURY DUTY
Our next foreman needs no introduction.
- DIDDY: THE CHARGES
Beat the rap.
- REO SPEEDWAGON PACKS IT IN AFTER 50 OR MAYBE 60 YEARS
Time for them to fly.
- EMMY WINNERS LIST
Hacks?
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- BEN & JERRY'S KAMALA ICE CREAM
We all scream.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- FANS HATE THE NEW "WHEEL OF FORTUNE" SET
What the blue blazes?
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- BAND LINEUP FOR JIMMY CARTER'S 100TH BIRTHDAY
...something...something... Keith Richards joke...
- MICHAEL KEATON CHANGING HIS NAME
Michael Pinkett-Keaton?
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
U.S. NEWS
- THE WINNERS OF THE 2024 FLORIDA SNAKE HUNT
If it was a snake, it would've bit you.
- PEANUT BUTTER STABBING
Damn skippy.
- JET PASSENGERS HAVE BLOODY NOSES, EARS
Guess who built the plane?
- PING PONG BALL PROTEST
Will Atlanta ever bounce back from this?
- 8-YEAR-OLD GIRL DRIVES FAMILY CAR TO TARGET
Yeah, my house was boring on Sunday mornings, too.
- GOD TOLD WOMAN SHE CAN STEAL FROM WALMART
Walmart: a prophet center.
- THIEF STEALS KID'S ENTIRE LEMONADE STAND
Day ends on a sour note.
- OTTER DRAGS CHILD OFF A DOCK
You otter know.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- MAYORAL CANDIDATE HITS RIVAL WITH CHAIR DURING DEBATE
Debate: a process that involves formal discourse and discussion.
- NUDISTS GO ON SIX-DAY TANDEM BIKE RIDE
Schwinnnnnn...g!
- PETA GOES AFTER PALACE GUARD HATS
A turban would be kinda cool.
- POLICE MINISTER HAS PURSE STOLEN DURING SPEECH TO POLICE
What's all this then?
- SELF-CLEANING LITTER BOXES KILLING CATS
Boots, no!
- DIVORCE: THE PERFUME
Sheikh that money maker!
- WOMAN CHARGED WITH ASSAULT OVER WATER GUN SPRAY
Hey there, squirt!
THE BUZZ
- THE RUDEST CITY IN AMERICA: MIAMI
Mind your manners, folks.
- THE 6-6-6 RULE FOR DATING
Your new standard, ladies.
- TIKTOK TREND: EAT DIRT
The soil, the soil, the soil, the soil.
- DOG WALKING INJURIES UP 342% OVER PAST 20 YEARS
"We live in a doggy dog world." - Gloria Pritchett, "Modern Family"
- THE 2024 IG-NOBEL PRIZE WINNERS
There are no winners here.
- THE #1 MISTAKE MEN MAKE IN MARRIAGE: NOT DOING HOUSEWORK
And would it kill you to bring home dinner once in awhile?
NEW MOVIES
- TRANSFORMERS ONE
Starts Friday, September 20 in theaters.
- NEVER LET GO
Starts Friday, September 20 in theaters.
- SPEAK NO EVIL
Starts Friday, September 13 in theaters.
- THE KILLER'S GAME
Starts Friday, September 13 in theaters.
- BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starts Friday, September 6 in theaters.
- THE FRONT ROOM
Starts Friday, September 6 in theaters.
- THE THICKET
Starts Friday, September 6 in theaters.
- SLINGSHOT
Starts Friday, August 30 in theaters.
- A & M AUTOLAND - Stock Numbers
At A & M, you'll almost always get a wrong number.
- HUBERT VAN BOUVIER FOR OFFICE - GREEN
The wacko candidate goes eco.
- BAD ACTORS AMENDMENT
A good bad political ad never goes out of style.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 13.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - No Reasonable Offer
Big Al gets an offer he can't refuse.
- PSYCHIC OPTOMETRIST
He sees all!
- HUBERT VAN BOUVIER FOR OFFICE - BETTER OFF
Are you better off than you were four years ago?
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 6.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Scratch And Dent Sale
Now more damaged cars than ever!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 30.
- WIND FARM PARODY POLITICAL SPOTS
Vote Yes on the underground wind farm.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Echo
Big Al's latest idea has Big Mike bouncing off the walls.
- HUBERT VAN BOUVIER FOR OFFICE - IMMIGRATION
Hubert makes a strong case.