ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- JAMIE FOXX FINALLY REVEALS CAUSE OF LONG ILLNESS: ADVIL
But he still ain't talkin'.
- AUDIO: ELMO SAYS "NO FIREWORKS!"
Elmo says, "Go blow somewhere else, bub."
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- BURT "ROBIN" WARD GETS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR DOG RESCUES
na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-Petman!
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- RULES OF THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
Play nice!
- MORGAN WALLEN HIT IN THE HEAD WITH PANTIES
Tom Jones would be proud.
- KANSAS CITY CHIEFS TO TAKE ON THE HALLMARK CHANNEL
But the viewers are the real losers here.
- UPCOMING HORROR FILM: DERANGED SQUIRRELS
Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my--- aghhh, my hoof!!!!
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- ALEX TREBEK GETS POSTAGE STAMP
What is "This is getting ridiculous?"
- THE KELCE BROTHERS COMPLAIN ABOUT COUNTRY MUSIC
Have they tried Glitchop?
U.S. NEWS
- FLORIDA WOMAN ARRESTED OVER CUDDLE KERFLUFFLE
Hugger mugger.
- MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FUN: TOILET ROW
Go team go!
- RUNAWAY SUV & TRAILER HIT CARS, HOUSE
Oh, the humanity.
- PUT YOUR ASHES UNDER UNIV. OF NEBRASKA FOOTBALL FIELD
The Nebraska Corn-hearse-kers.
- GOLFER MAKES BACK-TO-BACK HOLES IN ONE
Fore? No, two.
- SCORPION INVASION IN TEXAS
They will rock you like a hurricane.
- WOMEN ARRESTED FOR STEALING BATS
Three up, three down.
- FIREFIGHTERS BURN DOWN HOUSE FULL OF FIREWORKS
It's the safest way. The coolest, too.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- CHINESE WOMAN USED HAND GRENADE AS A HAMMER FOR YEARS
Time to put the hammer down.
- MALDIVES MINISTER ARRESTED FOR USING BLACK MAGIC ON THE PRIME MINISTER
Got a black magic woman.
- AUDIO: ANOTHER SEVERE TURBULENCE INCIDENT ON BOEING DREAMLINER
"While you're up there, can you get my glasses out of my suitcase?""
- CHINESE SHEEP BUTT TOUCHING EASES STRESS
I blame goat yoga.
- JAPANESE OLYMPIANS TO WEAR NON-VOYEURISTIC UNIFORMS
Infrared porn perverts.
- INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION TO BE CRASHED INTO THE SEA
Heads up, Fiji!
- DENMARK TO TAX COW FARTS
Han, der lugtede det, klarede det.
THE BUZZ
- FUNNY FIREWORK NAMES
Plus bonus story: Marijuana-themed fireworks!
- WHAT DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS ACTUALLY AGREE ON
Well, we all like food. That's a start.
- THINGS AMERICA DOES RIGHT, ACCORDING TO FOREIGNERS
USA! USA!
- A LIFETIME SUPPLY!
We've got a winner!
- MY SHORTEST DATE
Funny date stories.
- SURVEY: WATCHING YOUR PARTNER CLEAN IS A TURN-ON
Time to come clean.
NEW MOVIES
- A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE
Starts Friday, June 28 in theaters.
- HORIZON: AN AMERICAN SAGA
Starts Friday, June 28 in theaters.
- DADDIO
Starrts Friday, June 28 in theaters.
- THE BIKERIDERS
Starts Friday, June 21.
- THELMA
Starts Friday, June 21 in theaters.
- THE EXORCISM
Starts Friday, June 21 in theaters.
- INSIDE OUT 2
Starts Friday, June 14 in theaters.
- BAD BOYS: RIDE OR DIE
Starts Friday, June 7 in theaters.
- SCHNORRMAN'S MARKET- 4TH OF JULY
Make your own fireworks!
- NEWSSTAND FIREWORKS 2024
The most explosive stories of our time!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 28.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - The Bed Bunker
If at first you don't succeed - selling cars - try selling something else.
- LAWN LOOGIE
Makes your lawn look like a baseball field!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 21.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Lemons
A & M Autoland has more lemons than ever before!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 14
- FATHER'S DAY - A.I. STEAK SAUCE
The tasteful Father's Day gift.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Service Computer
A & M's service department becomes fully computerized. Briefly.
- DELAWARE TOURIST COUNCIL
C'mon, what'll it take? An hour?
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 7.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use bumper donuts