A man was charged with two counts of robbery after robbing businesses in Indianapolis. Alonzo Sansbury, 55, allegedly robbed a Dollar Tree after first attempting to pay with a fake $100 bill and then demanding money from the register. 30 minutes later, he went into a Big Lots where he stole money and a bag of Funyuns. Police tracked down his car. Inside were pieces of clothing that matched the items in surveillance video and the bag of Funyuns he stole from the Big Lots.
* Stealing Funyons. Not a Wise move.
* He stole them ’cause who in the world would pay money for Funyuns?
* I mean, they’re not onion rings. They’re onion-flavored “extruded corn meal.” Please!
* The judge will give him probation and tell him, “Sir, you are Frito go. ”
* Who goes to Dollar Tree with a $100 bill? “Give me 100 of anything.”