Remember that guy who tried to take his emotional support alligator to a Phillies game last year? Well, it’s missing, after the owner took it on vacation to Georgia. Joie Henney says Wally, his emotional support alligator, can be petted like a dog or hugged like a teddy bear. Now Henney is distraught after Wally vanished while accompanying him on an April vacation to Brunswick, Georgia, a port city south of Savannah. He said he suspects someone stole Wally from the fenced, outdoor enclosure where Wally spent the night on April 21 and left Wally outside the home of someone who called authorities, resulting in his alligator being trapped and released into the wild. “We need all the help we can get to bring my baby back,” Henney said in a tearful video posted on TikTok. “Please, we need your help.”
* Was he crying crocodile tears?
* Help how? Should we all form search teams and head for the Georgia swamps?
* So if you see an alligator, try to pick it up and pet it. If you still have your arm, that’s probably Wally.
* Two words, pal: Tracking chip.
* You know, he did try getting an emotional support dog, like a normal person. But Wally ate it.
* Meanwhile, Wally’s thinking, “I can’t believe I got away from that creep! So handsy!”