9-YEAR-OLD TRIES TO DRIVE HIMSELF TO SCHOOL – Apr 1

In Oroville, California, a 9-year-old boy took his mother’s car and attempted to drive it to school. An officer first spotted a gray Volkswagen sedan stopped in the middle of an intersection on Wednesday morning. The officer instructed the driver to move the car, but the vehicle sped off and led police on a short, erratic chase that ended in a dirt parking lot just blocks away from Plumas Avenue Elementary School. After coming to a stop, the car reversed suddenly and smashed into the front of a police cruiser. The officer discovered that the driver was a 9-year-old boy, who said he just wanted to drive himself to school. His parents were called, and the officer delivered him to the school.
* Oh, that’s a horrible punishment!
* They made him stay after school to work on his parking.
* Give him a special lesson on how Uber and Lyft work.
* The kid’s grounded – oh, until we land on Mars or George R.R. Martin finishes “A Song of Ice and Fire,” whichever comes first.
* Finally, an American child who just can’t get to school fast enough.

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