Two years ago, Mohamed Worku allegedly walked into a Chicago bank, handed over a demand note — “Give me the money Please Thank You” — and walked out with $600 cash. He was soon located, arrested and charged. Then a federal jury acquitted him of bank robbery. His defense lawyer argued that, yes, Worku had committed a crime, but he didn’t make threats or do anything by force, so his actions didn’t meet the standard for the bank robbery charge. The jury agreed and he walked free. But then – three days after being released – Worku tried it again, walking into another bank and handed over another polite note: “Please Give me the money I’ll pay it back soon.” He walked out with $2,000 this time. Again, they soon located and arrested him. This time the D.A. is charging him with two charges: bank robbery, which requires proof the money was taken by means of “intimidation,” and bank theft, which does not.
* Plus, he was jaywalking after he left the bank.
* So it’s not illegal to rob a bank, it’s only illegal if you don’t say “please”? Since when did Emily Post write our laws?
* If he’d said “pretty please” they would have thrown in one of those lollipops by the teller window.
* That guy’s lawyer belongs in the Johnnie Cochran Hall of Fame.