ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- INSIDE TAYLOR SWIFT'S BOX AT THE SUPER BOWL
Good eatin'.
- NFL GAME TO PLAY IN AUSTRALIA
˙ɯnʞuᴉp ɹᴉɐℲ
- CURRENT "CELEBRITY JEOPARDY!" SERIES A BUST
The Jeopardy anser is: Viewers are running away from THIS show like a bee swarm.
- KANSAS CITY CHIEFS OPEN TV & MOVIE PRODUCTION COMPANY
And... action!
- GRAMMY AWARD WINNERS
Plus Kanye jokes!
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- NBA COMMISSIONER WANTS TO SHORTEN GAMES
Yay, less game for more money! Yay!
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- SUPER BOWL TOILET PAPER COMMERCIAL ENCOURAGES VIEWERS NOT TO WATCH IT
Go pee instead.
- SUPER BOWL TICKET PRICES PLUMMETING; BLAME THE CHIEFS
$340,400,000 minimum gross . Boo hoo.
- AUDIO: MADONNA DOES STAND UP
Hilarious, just like her singing.
- LAW PROPOSED TO ANNOUNCE ACTUAL START TIMES OF MOVIES
Finally, a common sense law we can live with.
U.S. NEWS
- THE NUDE CRUISE
a.k.a. Spot the Dinghy.
- MICROPLASTIC IN YOUR BRAIN = ONE PLASTIC SPOON
Try recycling THAT.
- FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED FOR... WELL, TAKE YOUR PICK
The dog days of winter.
- EGGS STOLEN!
OK, enough with the eggs already.
- WAFFLE HOUSE INSTITUTES EGG SURCHARGE
Because eggs were always free before?
- AUDIO: PLANE TAKES OFF WITHOUT WORKING TOILETS
All systems aren't go.
- EGG TRUCK SPILLS ON THE I-5
Drivers eggsasperated.
- AUDIO: STRIPPER ATTACKS 7-ELEVEN CLERK WITH A BANANA
How do you like them apples?
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- BROTHER WANTED TO SPLIT DAD'S BODY FOR SEPARATE CREMATIONS
Alcohol was involved.
- NEW ZEALAND GRANTS PERSONHOOD TO A MOUNTAIN
Dear Sir or Madame or Mountain:
- WOMAN CHARGED WITH CYBER-FARTING
A crime most foul.
- JAPANESE MAN BUYS SUSHI FOR STRANGERS WITH STOLEN MONEY
かっこいいおじいさん
- AUDIO: MERMAID ATTACKED BY BIG FISH
♪♫ "Fish eat de mermaid/Hope you know first aid/Under the sea..." ♪♪♫
- LOUVRE NEEDS REPAIR; CONTROVERSY GROWING OVER MONA LISA
Mon Dieu!
- MAN'S PENIS STUCK TO FROZEN STREET
Frostbite me.
THE BUZZ
- FLASH: PEOPLE ARE HAPPIEST IN THE MORNINGS, ON THE WEEKENDS
The science is settled.
- DUMB HEADLINES
Real headline. Real dumb.
- THE WORST ENDING TO A DATE
All's well that ends.
- STUDY: PEOPLE ARE TALKING LESS
Please, tell me more.
- SUPER BOWL PROP BETS
The over, the under, and the sideways.
- CHILDHOOD HABITS RETAINED INTO ADULTHOOD
Some habits are hard to break.
NEW MOVIES
- LOVE HURTS
Starts Friday, February 7 in theaters.
- HEART EYES
Starts Friday, February 7 in theaters.
- COMPANION
Starts Friday, January 31 in theaters.
- DOG MAN
Starts Friday, January 31 in theaters.
- LOVE ME
Starts Friday, January 31in theaters.
- FLIGHT RISK
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- PRESENCE
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- BRAVE THE DARK
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements.
- A&M AUTOLAND - You Won't Find a Better Deal
This time Al and Mike might be telling the truth.
- CONSENSUAL VALENTINE CARDS
I love you, with permission.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 31.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Is Cars
A & M Autoland Is Cars! And Al and Mike am stupid.
- GILDED AGE FAIRE
Why, it's like you're already there!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 24.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Warehouse Sale
This could be their hottest sale ever!
- HEMMORIMPLELACTOSNEEZARIA
Ask for it by name, if you dare.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 17.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Keep Coming Back
Once you buy a car from A&M, you're sure to come back. Unfortunately.
- LIFE STAIR CROSS TRAINER MASTER RIDER
It's every exercise machine in one!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 10.