ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- 79 WAHLBURGERS TO GO
Trouble in Wahlburgerland.
- RAZZIE AWARD NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED
No arguments here.
- JERRY SEINFELD REFUSES $25 MILLION FOR ONE OF HIS CARS
It's not the Saab 900.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- COUNTRY STAR ORVILLE PECK TO STAR IN "CABARET" ON BROADWAY
Howdy, Bienvenue, Howdy.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- BETTY WHITE: FAT SHAMER
The dark side of Betty White.
- SNL: THE IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE
Live from New York: It's you!
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- OSCARS VOTING, NOMINATIONS SCHEDULE CHANGES DUE TO FIRE
Oh, Hollywood, never change.
- THERE WAS A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT LAST WEEKEND?
There she was, Miss America.
U.S. NEWS
- COP CRASHES CRUISER WHILE LOOKING AT PHONE PORN
It took forever to pull a confession out of him.
- COURT: ELEPHANTS ARE NOT PEOPLE
Nor are they garden implements.
- AUDIO: HUMAN HEAD WASHES UP ON FLORIDA BEACH
(gasp) Ben Gardner!
- AUDIO: PHILLY MAYOR FLUBS "EAGLES" CHANT
Gimme an E, maybe!
- COMPANY FIRES WORKERS BY SENDING PICTURE OF A DUCK
Quack quack, you're fired.
- LAWYER THREATENS WEDDING GUESTS OVER PRIME RIB
A violent prime rib incident.
- DUI CRASHER ASKS FOR LENIENCY BECAUSE HE'D BEEN DRINKING
There's a beautiful logic at work here.
- TIKTOK: THE WITHDRAWAL
Stock up on cold turkey.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- NHL GOALIE LETS ONE BY, DISTRACTED BY PLATE OF NACHOS
How can any sane person do that to a plate of nachos?
- ZULU KING'S FIRST WIFE TRIES TO BLOCK HIM FROM TAKING A THIRD WIFE
Second wife laying low for awhile.
- PLASTIC SURGEON PERFORMS VASECTOMY ON HIMSELF
Suture self.
- WORLD CUP SKI CONTROVERSY: I LOVE WANK
Oh, schuss with that kind of talk!
- HUMAN VS. ROBOT MARATHON
Real life, or an episode of Black Mirror?
- THE LONELY SUNFISH
Laydee odl, laydee odl lay hee hoo.
- WOMAN SETS RECORD FOR CRUSHING WATERMELONS WITH HER THIGHS
Bet she's popular at parties.
THE BUZZ
- SEXPERT: CRYING MEN MAKE THE BEST LOVERS
I married a wuss.
- GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY
In a good way.
- I DON'T GET IT
No matter how often it is explained to me.
- THE BIGGEST BREASTS IN THE WORLD
Clickbait headline!
- DO YOU DREAM OF WORK?
In your dreams.
- HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE (OR AREN'T) YOUR PARENTS' FAVORITE CHILD
Oh, you know. You just know.
NEW MOVIES
- FLIGHT RISK
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- PRESENCE
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- BRAVE THE DARK
Starts Friday, January 24 in theaters.
- WOLF MAN
Starts Friday, January 17 in theaters.
- SEPTEMBER 5
Starts Friday, January 17 in theaters.
- ONE OF THEM DAYS
Starts Friday, January 17 in theaters.
- THE LAST SHOWGIRL
Starts Friday, January 10 in theaters.
- DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA
Starts Friday, January 10 in theaters.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Warehouse Sale
This could be their hottest sale ever!
- HEMMORIMPLELACTOSNEEZARIA
Ask for it by name, if you dare.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 17.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Keep Coming Back
Once you buy a car from A&M, you're sure to come back. Unfortunately.
- LIFE STAIR CROSS TRAINER MASTER RIDER
It's every exercise machine in one!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 10.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Year-End Leftovers
Get 'em while they're not-so-hot!
- BIG VINNIE'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ENFORCEMENT
Happy new year ---- or else.
- THE TUESDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
Movies opening on Xmas Day. This is for TUESDAY, December 24!
- SONG: IT'S THE WORST TRAVELING TIME OF THE YEAR
You know the words - everybody sing!
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 20
- HARD-TO-STORE XMAS DECORATIONS
Better rent a storage unit.
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use show bumper donuts