DUMB CRIME
- DRIVEWAY STOLEN - Jan 2
- MAN LEADS POLICE CHASE DOWN A BOAT RAMP INTO LAKE MICHIGAN - Jan 5
- ROBBERY SUSPECT FOUND HIDING IN DOG HOUSE - Jan 9
- HIT-RUN SUSPECT HAD METH IN HIS BUTTCHEEKS - Jan 10
- INMATE ESCAPES DURING SNOWSTORM, TURNS SELF IN AN HOUR LATER - Jan 18
- AMISH BUGGYJACKING - Jan 24
- POLITE BANK ROBBER GETS OFF; NOT SO LUCKY SECOND TIME - Jan 25
- NAKED MAN ARRESTED FOR STEALING T-SHIRT FROM THRIFT SHOP - Jan 30
- METHODIST MINISTER ARRESTED FOR DEALING METH - Feb 13
- JUDGE TRIES TO CONVINCE EX-BOYFRIEND THAT HE SHOT HIMSELF - Feb 20
- ROBBER LEAVES STORE WITH LESS MONEY THAN HE CAME IN WITH - Feb 26
- MOTHER OF THREE RAN MASSIVE MAKEUP THEFT RING - Mar 13
- TORONTO: CITY OF CAR THIEVES - Mar 15
- MAN CAUGHT SNEAKING ONTO FLIGHT - March 21
- BURGLAR DOES YOGA BEFORE BREAK-IN - Mar 21
- PASTOR HIRED HITMAN TO TAKE OUT DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND - Mar 22
- FRONT END LOADER CHASE - Mar 28
- CHASE SUSPECT DRIVES OFF 100-FOOT CLIFF INTO LONG ISLAND SOUND, LIVES - Apr 10
- MAN STOLE $1500 WORTH OF VIBRATORS - Apr 15
- MAN TRIES ROBBING BANK WITH TRANSLATOR APP - Apr 16
- MAN TRIES ROBBING GAS STATION WITH A SNAKE - Apr 17
- FLORIDA COUPLE TRIED TO FORGE LOTTERY TICKET - Apr 23
- BANK ROBBER ESCAPES ON BUS - May 1
- ROBBER STEALS MONEY, FUNYONS - May 21
- POSTAL WORKER CAUGHT STREET RACING - May 23
- ROBBER KEEPS FALLING THROUGH CEILING OF RED ROOF INN - May 31
- POLICE ARREST MR. MONOPOLY - June 4
- LEGO THIEVES CAUGHT - June 10
- OKLAHOMA COUPLE ARRESTED FOR CATTLE RUSTLING - June 13
- BANK ROBBER WAS HOLDING A CHILD - June 17
- HOMEOWNER SMASHES BURGLAR WITH FRYING PAN - June 24
- FLORIDA BANK ROBBER ASKS FOR A PENNY - July 8
- WOMEN ACCUSED OF STEALING BEEF FROM ARBY'S - July 16
- 90 GIANT SNAILS SNAGGED AT AIRPORT - July 18
- ROBBER POSTS SELFIE HOLDING THE LOOT - July 26
- MAN ON WALMART ELECTRIC CART LEADS COPS ON LOW-SPEED CHASE - Aug 2
- SPEEDER STARTS DOING YOGA POSES - Aug 8
- GUY RUNS STOP SIGN, CAR'S FULL OF DRUGS & STUFF - Aug 30
- SUSPECT ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE BY DRIVING OVER POLICE CRUISER - Sept 6
- THIEF STEALS KID'S ENTIRE LEMONADE STAND - Sept 17
- COP ROBOT CATCHES SUSPECT - Sept 20
- TWO MEN WITH SAME NAME GO ON CRIME SPREE - Sept 24
- BURGLAR COOKS HERSELF SHRIMP & PASTA DINNER - Sept 27
- GUY PUTS PLAID SHIRT ON PASSENGER SEAT IN THE HOV LANE - Oct 3
- BANK ROBBER ON THE RUN STOPPED FOR CHINESE FOOD - Oct 7
- BAG MARKED "DEFINITELY NOT A BAG FULL OF DRUGS" WAS FULL OF DRUGS - Oct 14
HAVING A BAD DAY
- MAN'S HOUSE HIT BY TRUCKS 50 TIMES IN EIGHT YEARS - Jan 11
- WOMAN FALLS INTO DUMPSTER, IS COMPRESSED FOUR TIMES IN TRUCK - Jan 31
- CAR DRIVES INTO NORWEGIAN FJORD, PASSENGERS SAVED BY FLOATING SAUNA - Feb 5
- PILOT ACCIDENTALLY DEPLOYS EMERGENCY SLIDE BEFORE TAKEOFF - Feb 8
- EASY BAKE OVEN ATTEMPTS TO KILL FAMILY - Feb 23
- TOURIST DRIVES OFF HAWAIIAN CLIFF, FALLS INTO SEA, IS OKAY - Feb 29
- MAN GOES IN FOR GALLBLADDER REMOVAL, ENDS UP WITH VASECTOMY - Mar 5
- LAS VEGAS TOURIST STUNG IN TESTICLES BY A SCORPION - Mar 6
- MAN BREAKS OUT OF JAIL, IS IMMEDIATELY HIT BY CAR - Mar 25
- SUDAN PLANE CRASHES ON LANDING, CRASHES INTO PREVIOUSLY CRASHED PLANE - Apr 2
- BAKER LOSES RING IN COOKIE DOUGH - Apr 12
- PASSENGER BREAKS LEG HALF-HOUR INTO 7-HOUR FLIGHT - Apr 22
- MOM FINED FOR ILLEGAL CLAMMING - May 24
- STRANDED KITE SURFER WRITES "HELP" ON THE BEACH WITH ROCKS- June 11
- RUNAWAY SUV & TRAILER HIT CARS, HOUSE - July 2
- TEEN LIFEGUARD TRAINEE BITTEN BY SHARK - July 10
- WOMAN SWEPT OUT TO SEA, RESCUED 36 HOURS LATER - July 12
- OFFICE RETREAT LEAVES WORKER STRANDED ON MOUNTAIN - Aug 28
- 20-YEAR-OLD CARRIES 79-YEAR OLD DOWN HIKING TRAIL - Sept 26
- PILOT DIES AFTER TAKEOFF - Oct 10
- NEW FIRE STATION BURNS TO THE GROUND - Oct 18
- WOMAN DROPS PHONE, GETS STUCK IN ROCK CREVICE - Oct 23
PETS & ANIMALS
- PET PIG CAUSES HOUSE FIRE - Jan 4
- THE MICRO PIG CAFE - Jan 31
- BUTCHER ADVERTISES ITS GOATS COME FROM A PETTING ZOO - Feb 6
- PET DNA TESTING COMPANY COULDN'T SPOT HUMAN DNA - Mar 19
- KOMODO DRAGON ATTACKS ZOOKEEPER - Mar 20
- OSTRICH EATS KEEPER'S KEYS, DIES - Apr 24
- CAT ACCIDENTALLY PACKED, SHIPPED IN RETURN PACKAGE TO AMAZON - Apr 29
- MAN SEARCHING FOR MISSING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ALLIGATOR - May 2
- DOG'S STOMACH REVEALS CHEATING HUSBAND - May 21
- TOWN OVERRUN BY FERAL CHICKENS - May 28
- SHARK BITES WOMAN ON HAND - June 7
- FLORIDA WOMAN DROWNS ROOMMATE'S PET SPIDER IN GINGER ALE - Aug 5
- NANTUCKET MAN MUGGED BY SEAGULL - Aug 8
- HAIR CLIP SAVES WOMAN DURING BEAR ATTACK - Aug 15
- HUNTER ATTACKED BY BEAR, THEN SHOOTS HIMSELF - Aug 21
- KITTEN ON HIGHWAY CAUSES THREE-VEHICLE ACCIDENT - Sept 9
- SELF-CLEANING LITTER BOXES KILLING CATS - Sept 13
- MOUSE POPS OUT OF AIRLINE MEAL - Sept 23
- HORSES ESCAPE FROM RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL - Sept 27
- ESCAPED GOAT RUNS HALF-MARATHON - Oct 4
- WOMAN WINS LOTTERY, BOYFRIEND WANTED A SHARE FOR HIS DOG - Oct 11
- CHINESE AQUARIUM'S WHALE SHARK WAS ACTUALLY A ROBOT - Oct 15
- SEAWORLD ORCA POOPS JUST BEFORE HE SPLASHES GUESTS - Oct 22
PEOPLE BEHAVING BADLY
- ALABAMA MAN CANNONBALLS INTO BASS PRO FISH TANK - Jan 8
- ASSAULT WITH A SUBWAY SUB - Jan 12
- MAN CHARGED WITH SPRAY-PAINTING SQUIRRELS - Jan 17
- JUDGE CAUGHT TEXTING DURING TRIAL - Feb 12
- BAND MEMBER SLIPPED ESTROGEN TO BANDMATE TO MAKE HIM LESS MANLY - Feb 27
- WOMEN PROP UP DEAD MAN IN CAR SO THEY CAN MAKE BANK WITHDRAWAL - Mar 11
- PILOT AND CO-PILOT FALL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL - Mar 11
- 9-YEAR-OLD TRIES TO DRIVE HIMSELF TO SCHOOL - Apr 1
- CAPTAIN OF 30-PASSENGER FLORIDA TOUR BOAT FALLS OFF - Apr 18
- DRUNK DRIVER BURSTS INTO SONG DURING ARREST - Apr 26
- ARMED MAN DEMANDS CONVENIENCE STORE CLERK'S HAND IN MARRIAGE - May 7
- CUSTOMER THROWS COFFEE, BARISTA SMASHES WINDSHIELD - June 14
- RICH COUPLE POISONS NEIGHBOR'S TREES FOR A BETTER VIEW - June 20
- GAMER FLIES TO FLORIDA TO ATTACK FELLOW GAMER - June 26
- WOMAN THROWS LIVE TARANTULA DURING RENTAL DISPUTE - June 27
- DENIAL OF PIZZA LEADS TO A BEATING IN ATLANTA - July 19
- RUSSIAN CHESS PLAYER TRIED POISONING HER OPPONENT - Aug 9
- NEWS COPTER FINDS BOY CUTTING SCHOOL - Aug 26
- CAR DEALER ATTEMPTS TO WEASEL OUT OF CONTEST PRIZE - Sept 12
- PASSENGER GOES NUTS ON PLANE, AFTER DISNEY WEEKEND - Sept 16
- PEANUT BUTTER STABBING - Sept 18
- 10-YEAR OLD DRIVES STOLEN CAR THROUGH PLAYGROUND - Oct 9
MEN & WOMEN
- MAN WINS $1 MILLION LOTTERY THREE DAYS AFTER BREAKUP - Feb 15
- TWO MEN HAVE OUTRAGEOUS PLOT AGAINST EX-GIRLFRIEND - Mar 12
- WIFE WANTS HUSBAND WHO DROVE FAMILY OFF CLIFF TO COME HOME - May 8
- FLORIDA WOMAN ARRESTED OVER CUDDLE KERFLUFFLE - July 3
- WOMAN HITS BOYFRIEND WITH CAR ON THE WAY TO COUPLES THERAPY - Aug 16
- THE 6-6-6 RULE FOR DATING - Sept 17
JUST PLAIN WEIRD
- SPIDER IN THE EAR - Jan 2
- SPIDER IN THE EAR - Jan 2
- DIAPER-WEARING SPA OPENS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE - Feb 2
- ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES ATTACK SWISS COMPANY - Feb 7
- DEAD WOMAN WAKES UP AT THE FUNERAL PYRE - Feb 14
- DOCTORS PULL 150 PARASITES FROM FLORIDA MAN'S NOSE - Feb 22
- INDIAN MAN ATE 39 COINS, 37 MAGNETS - Feb 29
- HIGH SCHOOL ALLOWED STUDENTS TO LICK PEANUT BUTTER OFF FEET FOR FUNDRAISER - Mar 4
- A LEECH IN THE THROAT, AND A TAPEWORM IN THE BRAIN - Mar 11
- OPEN SAFE WITH MONEY BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD - Mar 14
- FARMER FINDS SPACE JUNK IN HIS FIELD - May 16
- BURGER KING: A WHOPPER FULL OF BLOOD - July 31
- MOLASSES TRUCK COLLIDES WITH MANURE TRUCK - Aug 12
- HOSPITAL LOSES MAN'S SKULL DURING BRAIN SURGERY - Aug 20
- TRIMMING TREES WITH DYNAMITE - Sept 26
- MAN ARRESTED FOR SNIFFING SHOES - Oct 21
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