An Avondale, Arizona, woman allegedly tried to light her boyfriend on fire because he would not celebrate with her after she got hired at a Subway restaurant. Kathy Jones, 46, told officers she had around four drinks and was celebrating her new job at Subway. She became upset with her boyfriend after he wouldn’t celebrate with her, so she sprayed him with lighter fluid and then threw lit matches at him. The boyfriend locked her out of their home and called police.
* You’re supposed to drink a toast, not turn somebody into toast.
* You’re supposed to get lit, not get lit on fire.
* She takes hothead to a whole new level.
* She had four drinks? Were they in Big Gulp cups?
* You can see where this is all his fault, of course.
* He probably said, “Congratulations. Go make me a sammich.”
* Drinking because you got hired at Subway. That’s one way to deal with it.