ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- ARMIE HAMMER'S MOM GAVE HIM A VASECTOMY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
I like the cut of her jib.
- BLAKE SHELTON & TAYLOR SHERIDAN PRODUCING SINGING COMPETITION SHOW
Contestants, pack your bags.
- WEB ADDRESS ON "WICKED" DOLL BOX IS PORN SITE
“Of course, some people do go both ways.” - The Scarecrow
- MISS PANAMA BOOTED FROM MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT
And don't come back!
- THE TOP TEN SEXIEST BALD MEN
#1: Prince William, by a whisker.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- GRAMMY AWARD NOMINATIONS
a.k.a the "Let's Make Beyoncé Feel Better" awards.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- JASON KELCE SLAMS FAN'S PHONE AFTER RUDE COMMENT
Hulk smash.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS FOR 2024
The ball's in your court, Gwyneth Paltrow.
- SCENTED CANDLE SMELLS LIKE ODELL BECKHAM'S JOCKSTRAP
"Like bringing a piece of the locker room right into your living room."
U.S. NEWS
- MAN LIVED UNDER 93-YEAR-OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE FOR SIX MONTHS
2-foot crawl space.
- DISNEY CRUISE SHIP RESCUES SINKING BOATERS
Their ship came in.
- DEER BREAKS INTO 103-YEAR-OLD WOMAN'S APARTMENT
As for me and Grandpa, we believe.
- IHOP AND APPLEBEES MERGING RESTAURANTS
Ihopplebees.
- CAR THIEF LEADS CHASE IN REVERSE
Back atcha!
- AUDIO: VOICE OF "YOU'VE GOT MAIL" HAS DIED
Goodbye.
- CYCLIST HIT BY AMBULANCE, THEN CHARGED $1800 FOR RIDE
Business must have been slow.
- 40 LAB MONKEYS ESCAPE
But they're too busy singing to put anybody down.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- RUSSIAN BILLIONAIRE PROMISES FREE IN-VITRO, IF YOU USE HIS SPERM
Not even dinner and a movie?
- HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS INVENT SMART GARBAGE CANS
Smarter than high school boys.
- MAN DIES AFTER SITTING ON A BOX OF FIREWORKS
Jackass.
- AWFUL AUSTRALIAN OLYMPIC BREAK DANCER RETIRES
No Electric Boogaloo.
- AUDIO: SO YOU WANT TO MOVE TO CANADA
Can't imagine why.
- JAPANESE BOYS NEED TO KISS MORE
Not each other!
- AIRLINE PASSENGERS HEAR BANGING MID-FLIGHT
And not from the bathroom, either.
THE BUZZ
- ACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN A MARRIAGE
They don't have to know everything.
- I KNOW A GUY
Do you know a guy?
- THE WEIRDEST THING A HOUSE GUEST EVER DID
If you have people over, you're just asking for it.
- HOT TOYS FOR 2024
Minutes of fun for dollars of bills!
- DUMB HEADLINES
Three real, dumb headlines ripped from internet!
- AUDIO: A BIG RED FLAG
Danger Will Robinson.
NEW MOVIES
- RED ONE
Starts Friday, November 15 in theaters.
- HERETIC
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- ELEVATION
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- JUROR NUMBER 2
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- ABSOLUTION
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- HERE
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- VENOM - THE LAST DANCE
Starts Friday, October 25 in theaters.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 8.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements.
- A & M AUTOLAND - Contest
Al and Mike won't play games with you like other car dealers. They'll play MORE.
- THE LIMP LINGUINI ENDLESS NOODLE
Sorry, only one to a customer.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 1.
- TRICK OR TROUT
The unexpected trick-or-treat!
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use pre-produced bumper donuts
- VAMPIRE FLEX TAPE
Don't leave the crypt without it!
- A & M AUTOLAND - Halloween Pumpkins
Al and Mike's new promotion isn't too bright - but the burning car is!
- SONG: IT'S ELECTION TIME
Halloween + Election = Comedy
- FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR - 2024
Pretty scary, eh, kids?
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 25.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
- A & M AUTOLAND - Free Inspection
Al and Mike try to hook you with their new offer.
- VAN BOUVIER FOR OFFICE - BROWNIES
A sure-fire way to bring them to the polls.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 18.