A Shippensburg, Pennsylvania, man has officially changed his last name to Hitler. Isidore Heath Campbell pops up in the news every so often, usually over accusations of domestic violence, or the time a bakery wouldn’t put his then-3-year-old son’s name, Adolf Hitler, onto a birthday cake. Campbell has nine children with at least four mothers but now has custody over none of them. He has shown up at custody hearings for his children wearing a Nazi uniform. But as of Monday, Campbell legally became Isidore Heath Hitler. (* Izzy Hitler? Beats me.) He says, “It’s great. My driver’s license is changed over, my insurance, my registration, all that I needed is changed over. I’m the new Hitler.”
* I wonder what he pays for bunker insurance.
* When he needs a ride, does he heil a cab?
* Sometimes he likes to drive into Philly and invade a good cheesesteak.
* I think this helps. Changing your name to Hitler makes it easier for us to keep an eye on you.
* It’s all those people out there who secretly admire Hitler that scare the hell out of me.
* I haven’t seen this many Hitler references since President Trump first started running for office.
* He showed up for custody hearings in a Nazi uniform? Wow, he really must hate those kids.
* How long did those hearings last? In microseconds?