Researchers have unveiled the world’s first robotic system for performing a colonoscopy. The semi-automated system consists of an electronic capsule robot that examines the colon internally while guided by magnets outside the body. The robot capsule is inserted the way you think it’s inserted, along with a “tether” for biopsies. An external magnet pulls the capsule robot, instead of a physician pushing the colonoscope from behind, which should make the procedure much easier, for both the clinician and patient. The robot colonoscopator (* we made that word up) could potentially reduce or eliminate the need for sedation or pain medication
* Magnets? This could be bad news if you have your navel pierced.
* Or other parts.
* Researchers got the idea from the old “Tickle Bee” game, where you drag the little bee around through the maze with a magnetic wand..
* Darn, I was hoping for a new digital scan of your colon where they didn’t insert anything at all.
* Not that having an untested robot up my butt doesn’t sound inviting.
* It’s just that I was hoping things would get easier – not weirder.
* See? As soon as the robots get here they immediately become a pain in the ass.
* The semi-automated system? That doesn’t sound good either. I don’t want them to go halfway with this.

AUDIO: This is what the robot says before it’s inserted into your backside. (“Hasta la vista, baby.”)