Richard Pananian, 20, of Burbank, California, had been battling serious health issues but overcame them, said his family, although they would not say what the health issues were. His family was determined to protect him, so they performed a matagh, or offering, on October 25. Matagh is a tradition of the Armenian Church and often used to show appreciation to God for saving a life, asking for good health or for peace for deceased loved ones. The family performed a lamb sacrifice, to keep him safe from harm. Five days later, on October 30, Pananian was driving to his new job at Glendale Collision Center. He was driving southbound on the 5 Freeway – reportedly in a reckless manner – when his Ford Fiesta rear-ended a pickup truck and overturned. Pananian was not wearing a seat belt. He was ejected and landed about 20 feet above the ground on the Colorado Street freeway sign. ON. THE. SIGN. Rescue crews had to use a ladder to the remove his body from the freeway sign. “He had a bright future,” Pananian’s cousin said.
* Well, one sign said he didn’t.
* Signage of the Lamb.
* Another quarter mile and he would’ve landed on one of the cows on an “Eat More Chikin” billboard.
* Did the family at least get a lamb dinner out of the deal?
* Maybe there was a misunderstanding and Satan thought the sacrifice was for him.
* The takeaway here is that an 11th Century ritual can’t take the place of a 21st Century seat belt.
* He actually worked at a Collision Center? That’s asking for it.
* So the Ford Fiesta was more like a Pinata.
* So does this count as an aviation accident?
* Sometimes I’m glad when they don’t have a YouTube clip.
* Nobody does the traffic accidents like Southern California. Nobody.
* When you’re recovering a body that’s sailed 20 feet onto a freeway sign, I question the use of the term “rescue crew.”