(Based on “Cotton-Eyed Joe” by The Rednex)
Categories : 9.2 COMEDY MP3s NEW
TODAY IS ...
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY'S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY'S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- JASON KELCE AND STEVIE NICKS RECORD A CHRISTMAS DUET
It's not ho-ho-horrible.
- WHOOPI GOLDBERG LAUNCHES ALL-FEMALE SPORTS NETWORK
You go, girls.
- ARMIE HAMMER'S MOM GAVE HIM A VASECTOMY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
I like the cut of her jib.
- BLAKE SHELTON & TAYLOR SHERIDAN PRODUCING SINGING COMPETITION SHOW
Contestants, pack your bags.
- WEB ADDRESS ON "WICKED" DOLL BOX IS PORN SITE
“Of course, some people do go both ways.” - The Scarecrow
- MISS PANAMA BOOTED FROM MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT
And don't come back!
- THE TOP TEN SEXIEST BALD MEN
#1: Prince William, by a whisker.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
- GRAMMY AWARD NOMINATIONS
a.k.a the "Let's Make Beyoncé Feel Better" awards.
- WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
- JASON KELCE SLAMS FAN'S PHONE AFTER RUDE COMMENT
Hulk smash.
U.S. NEWS
- KUM & GO STORES REBRANDING
(snicker)
- THE POOPCOPTER
Doo-B-Gone.
- INSURANCE FRAUDSTERS USED BEAR COSTUME
Mental Ben.
- MAN DIES IN TANNING BED
Tanned, rested and deady.
- DISNEY GUESTS COMPLAIN RE-TOOLED SPLASH MOUNTAIN RIDE TOO WET
Let's see... log boats... water... am I going to get wet?
- WISCONSIN MAN FAKED OWN DEATH, MOVED TO EASTERN EUROPE
Uzbeki girls really knock me out / They leave the West behind.
- AUDIO: WOMAN SEES APARTMENT SHE IS LIVING IN ON A REALITY TV SHOW
That's my apartment!
- TOYS INDUCTED INTO TOY HALL OF FAME
My Little Pony, Transformers, Phase 10.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
- NORWEGIAN FISHERMEN CATCH AMERICAN NUCLEAR SUBMARINE
Bottom fishing.
- AUDIO: "GRANDMA" CHATBOT FIGHTS BACK AGAINST PHONE SCAMMERS
I would buy the album of this.
- SWEDISH MOOSE STOMPS BEEMERS
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti.
- CIGARETTE SMUGGLER FLOATS ACROSS RIVER DISGUISED AS A WATER PLANT
Smoke and mirrors.
- RUSSIAN BILLIONAIRE PROMISES FREE IN-VITRO, IF YOU USE HIS SPERM
Not even dinner and a movie?
- HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS INVENT SMART GARBAGE CANS
Smarter than high school boys.
- MAN DIES AFTER SITTING ON A BOX OF FIREWORKS
Jackass.
THE BUZZ
- CPR BY THE AVERAGE PERSON SAVES LIVES
What about the below-average person?
- DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, have listeners vote for the dumbest one.
- WEIRD NAMES PARENTS GAVE THEIR KIDS LAST YEAR
They should be fined.
- WEIRD THINGS PARENTS FIND IN THEIR CHILD'S ROOM
Don't look if you don't want to know.
- ACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN A MARRIAGE
They don't have to know everything.
- I KNOW A GUY
Do you know a guy?
NEW MOVIES
- RED ONE
Starts Friday, November 15 in theaters.
- HERETIC
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- ELEVATION
Starts Friday, November 8 in theaters.
- JUROR NUMBER 2
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- ABSOLUTION
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- HERE
Starts Friday, November 1 in theaters.
- VENOM - THE LAST DANCE
Starts Friday, October 25 in theaters.
Click (don't right-click) on the title of any sound bite, and you'll go straight to a live mp3 player. Want to download the mp3? Right-click on the PLAYER to launch the "Save as" option.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 15,
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use bumper donuts
- A & M AUTOLAND - Stilts
This might be the only time Big Mike actually looked up to Big Al.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 8.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements.
- A & M AUTOLAND - Contest
Al and Mike won't play games with you like other car dealers. They'll play MORE.
- THE LIMP LINGUINI ENDLESS NOODLE
Sorry, only one to a customer.
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 1.
- TRICK OR TROUT
The unexpected trick-or-treat!
- PROMOS-TO-GO
Ready-to-use pre-produced bumper donuts
- VAMPIRE FLEX TAPE
Don't leave the crypt without it!
- A & M AUTOLAND - Halloween Pumpkins
Al and Mike's new promotion isn't too bright - but the burning car is!
- SONG: IT'S ELECTION TIME
Halloween + Election = Comedy
- FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR - 2024
Pretty scary, eh, kids?
- THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 25.
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
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