FRIDAY, Nov 11 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, November 11, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL SUNDAE DAY

ORIGAMI DAY

VETERANS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Veterans Day honors all members of the Armed Forces who who served this country valiantly, and in a very big way. They served and fought to protect us, to keep our country safe, and to preserve our way of life. Veterans gave their time, and risked their lives for you and me. In some cases, they made the ultimate sacrifice. This holiday originally was called Armistice Day and was first celebrated in 1921. In 1954, President Eisenhower changed it to Veteran’s Day, in honor of those who served and died from all wars. On November 11 at 11:11, 1921 the U.S. France and England each buried an unknown soldier in honor of those who died in World War I. This began the annual Armistice Day holiday. The time and day was picked because fighting ceased in WWI in 1918 on November 11 at 11:11. In keeping with this tradition, work stops on this day and time each year for a moment of silence.”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

THE BUZZDON’T EVER USE THESE RESTAURANT JOKES AGAIN

From Food & Wine magazine, here are the restaurant “jokes” that servers are absolutely sick of hearing. So cut it out!
– “Hope we can find a table!” when the restaurant is empty.
– “I’m ordering the salmon ‘just for the halibut.'”
– If you have a choice of soup or salad, don’t say, “I’ll have the Super Salad!”
– “Hey, this gazpacho is cold.”
– “Can I get a diet water?”
– “There must be a hole in this glass because my drink is empty.”
– When the server hasn’t been to the table for ten minutes and you say, “We thought you got lost.”
– When they bring you your decaf coffee, don’t say, “If I’m still awake at 3:00 a.m., I’m gonna call you to complain.”
– “I don’t need sugar for my coffee, I’m sweet enough.”
– “Can I get you anything else?” “Yeah, a million dollars.”
– When they ask how you liked your meal, and your plate is totally clean, don’t say, “I hated it.”
– When the check comes, don’t say, “Hey, we didn’t order this!”
– “Oops, I forgot my wallet. I guess I’ll have to wash dishes.”
* So just don’t say it, okay DAD?
* Looks like the honeymoon period of people coming back to restaurants after Covid is over.
* People who would make these wisecracks aren’t classy enough to be getting Food & Wine magazine.
* Waiters should have a checklist: “Every time I hear one of these jokes, that’s $5 added to your bill.”

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN PLEADS GUILTY TO ASSAULT WITH A LOG OF HAMBURGER MEAT

A South Euclid, Ohio woman admitted to hitting her estranged neighbor with a 10-pound log of ground beef after running into her at a Walmart. The assault happened in May 2021. Maneka Garner, 27, was shopping with her 5-year-old son when she saw her old neighbor, Precious Jackson, 37, in the potato chip aisle. Garner first attempted to spit on her nemesis before taking a $22 meat log out of Jackson’s cart and smacking her “a couple of times in the face,” investigators said. Garner pleaded no contest Tuesday to the charges. She was sentenced to a 30-day suspended jail term and a year of probation, plus a $155 fine.
* The $155 was the current cost of replacing a 10-pound log of ground beef.
* Witnesses were screaming, “Hamburger? Help her!!!” But no one did.
* What was her beef? Besides the 10-pound log, I mean.
* Smacking her in the face. That’s just dumb. You do not tenderize ground beef.
* By any chance did she also have a steak? To put on her face?
* A 5-year-old son. That’s not a great age to learn your mommy is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
* Good thing it wasn’t shish kabob night, the woman would have been skewered.
* At least they weren’t in the canned soup aisle. Ouch!

JOHN HINCKLEY, PRESIDENTIAL ASSASSIN, STARTS POLITICAL PARTY

John Hinckley Jr., who shot and wounded President Ronald Reagan in 1981 and was finally deemed rehabilitated and freed this past June, announced Wednesday that he is starting a new political group: the National Redemption Party, or NRP. The 67-year-old attempted killer said in a tweet that the National Redemption Party is “for peace, love, racial equality, LGBTQ Rights, Abortion Rights, the Green New Deal,” but mostly it opposes “the Mob that controls the music industry.” Hinckley has been trying to make a living as a singer-songwriter since his release, but getting his career off the ground has been a struggle. In one instance, a concert scheduled for July 8 in Brooklyn, New York, was canceled due to public backlash.
* So why isn’t he crushing it on Spotify?
* Did he say where his party stands on gun control?
* A presidential assassin starts a political party. Like the past 6 years of politics hasn’t been crazy enough.
* Will the party convention be televised on MTV or the NRA Channel?
* Poor guy. He’s still waiting for his one shot at fame.

TOY HALL OF FAME ANNOUNCES INDUCTEES FOR 2022

The National Toy Hall of Fame on Thursday announced their inductees for 2022. The winners are: The Top, Masters of the Universe and Lite-Brite. The trio was chosen from a field of 12 finalists that also included Bingo, Breyer Horses, Catan, Nerf, the Piñata, Phase 10, Pound Puppies, Rack-O and Spirograph. Anyone can nominate a toy. A panel of experts votes in the winners.
* The Top? There should be a rule that the toy has to hold a kid’s attention for longer than 2 minutes.
* The AARP lobby wasn’t strong enough to push Bingo into the winners circle?
* Spirograph is claiming election fraud and calling for a recount.
* You don’t know what sad looks like ’til you’ve seen Pound Puppies cry.
* Toys should lose points based on how long it takes them to decompose in a landfill.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WOMAN ACCUSES EX OF USING HER PANTIES TO CAST A CURSE

Meanwhile in Ghana… a woman has accused her ex-fiancé of using her panties to cast a spell on her which has made her unattractive to any other man. 30-year-old Victoria Bonsu and her fiancee of 12 years, John Odoom, 52, separated because of her cheating. The two appeared on a mock courtroom radio show on station Nhyira (‘NYI-ruh’) FM, where Ms. Bonsu accused Mr. Odoom of using her panties for ‘juju,’ claiming the spell is making her unable to have affairs with other men ever since she left the relationship. Mr. Odoom admitted to the, uh, juju-ing, saying it was punishment for her serial cheating. The radio station called in a fetish priest to reverse the curse.
* Lucky them – usually there’s never a fetish priest around when you need one.
* Interesting mix of modern technology and witch doctors.
* I always change my panties, after a spell, I reckon.
* Was the curse reversed? The line of men outside the radio station says yes.
* That’s what we need: a new Courtroom TV show called Judge Juju-dy.

AFGHANISTAN BANS WOMEN FROM AMUSEMENT PARKS

In Afghanistan now, women have been banned from entering amusement parks after the Taliban’s morality ministry said there would be restrictions on women being able to access public parks. At least two park operators in Kabul, who asked to remain anonymous, said they had been told by Taliban officials not to allow women to enter their parks. At a Kabul amusement park containing rides such as bumper cars and a Ferris wheel, witnesses observed several women being turned away by park officials, with Taliban agents observing the situation.
* The Tunnel of Love ride has got to be pretty awkward.
* And yet there’s a three-hour wait for the shooting gallery.
* What kind of rides do they have at an Afghani amusement park? Bumper Donkeys? Loop-O-Tank?
* There’s a Whack-an-Infidel game on the midway.
* Did these guys have, like, a really mean sister growing up?
* “You must be this fanatical to ride.”

TRENDING

SUSANNA HOFFS TO TURN NOVEL INTO SCREENPLAY

Susanna Hoffs, the co-founder, lead singer and guitarist of The Bangles, will adapt her debut novel “This Bird Has Flown” into a feature romantic comedy for Universal Pictures. Released in April of this year, “This Bird Has Flown” tells the story of a one-hit wonder musician named Jane, who finds herself broke and single a decade after her breakout song. En route to London, Jane meets a handsome stranger, and jumps at the opportunity for a second chance at stardom and love.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Veterans Day
Nov. 24, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Leonardo DiCaprio (actor) … 48
Calista Flockhart (actress, “Supergirl,” “Brothers and Sisters,” “Ally McBeal,” Mrs. Harrison Ford) … 58
Demi Moore (actress) … 59
Stanley Tucci (actor) … 62
Andy Partridge (singer/songwriter/musician with XTC) … 69

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“You never know what’s going to happen. Because one season you’re hot, the next you’re cold.”

(A) Kevin Spacey
(B) Brian Williams
(C) Leonardo DiCaprio

ANSWER: (C) Leonardo DiCaprio

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – The UK became the first European country to record over 50,000 Covid-19 deaths, the fifth highest number after the US, Brazil, India and Mexico.

2000 – Republicans went to court, seeking an order to block manual recounts from continuing in Florida’s razor-thin presidential election.
* Yeah, I seem to recall this was all put into motion by some guy with the weird nickname of “Dimpled Chad.”

1984 – President Ronald Reagan dedicated the U.S. Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, DC.
* It took longer for the vets to get a memorial than the number of years we were in Vietnam!

1972 – America’s participation in the Vietnam War officially ended when the U.S. turned over its military base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese Army.
* Who promptly gave it to the North Vietnamese.

1959 – The Rocky and His Friends cartoon show debuted.
* Things were so primitive in 1959, there were no matching CD-ROM games, no website, and the cartoons were in black-and-white.

1921 – The Unknown Soldier was buried at Arlington National Cemetery.
* They didn’t have DNA identification back then.

1918 – The armistice ending World War One was signed on the 11th month, the 11th day at the 11th hour.
* Somebody was feeling very anal that day.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – A collection of dresses and outfits worn by Madonna during her career in music and film helped a celebrity auction raise $3.2 million. The highest lot was a jacket from Desperately Seeking Susan, which fetched $252,000, while a gown from her Material Girl video reached $73,125. Other lots which attracted the bidders were a pair of John Lennon’s spectacles which sold for $25,000 and a ring worn by Elvis Presley for $57,600.

2011 – The four original band members of Black Sabbath announced that they were reuniting and recording a new album followed by a world tour in 2012.

2008 – Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless” was released.

2004 – Liza Minnelli’s former bodyguard accused the singer of forcing him to have sex with her in order to keep his job, court documents revealed. M’hammed Soumayah was suing Minnelli for $100 million, saying she made “many repeated attempts” to compel him into sex and he “eventually succumbed.”

1999 – Britney Spears won four MTV Awards: Best Female Singer, Best Pop Act, Best Song “Baby One More Time,” and Best Breakthrough Artist.

1995 – The Smashing Pumpkins’ double album “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” went to No.1 on the U.S. chart.

1990 – A 21-year-old AC/DC fan was attacked and died outside the Brendan Byrne Arena in New Jersey where the band was playing that night.

1972 – Allman Brothers bass player Berry Oakley, 24, was killed in a motorcycle accident at the same intersection as former band member Duane Allman, who had died a year earlier.

1969 – The FBI arrested Doors singer Jim Morrison in Phoenix, Arizona for drunk and disorderly conduct aboard a plane. Morrison was on his way to a Rolling Stones concert.

1957 – Jerry Lee Lewis secretly married his third wife and cousin, Myra Gale Brown, in Tennessee.

1955 – Elvis Presley was voted the most promising new country & western artist by Billboard magazine.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 55% of women and 44% of men say they have THIS quality. What is it?
They think they are are photogenic

2. A study of single adults found that most women have 4 of THESE, while most men only have 2. What are they?
Pillows

3. On average, women do THIS nearly twice as much as men. What is it?
Blink

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