FRIDAY, Feb 25 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, February 25, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: SONG – PUTIN AND UKRAINE; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE COVERED NUTS DAY

NATIONAL CLAM CHOWDER DAY

PISTOL PATENT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
Samuel Colt, inventor of the pistol, received Patent #138 for his Colt Revolver – with a rotating chamber containing six bullets – on this day in 1836.

QUIET DAY
The Work Smart Live Smart website says this:
“STOP YELLING … it’s quiet day. Today is the day to lower the noise level. It originally started as a day in the Anglican church to focus on special devotions, meditations, and instructions. Quiet time helps the body relax and lowers blood pressure and heart rate. It allows the mind to focus and be more creative. It can boost your immune system and decrease the amount of pain that we feel. The results of one study published in Stroke showed that the accumulated fatty plaque on artery walls actually diminished in people who meditated 20 minutes twice a day.”

February is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
African American History Month
Celebration of Chocolate Month
International Boost Self Esteem Month
International Friendship Month
National Bird Feeding Month
National Snack Food Month
National Sweet Potato Month
Spunky Old Broads Month
Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

CNN AIRS APPLEBEE’S COMMERCIAL ALONGSIDE UKRAINE INVASION

CNN is taking some heat because, on Thursday morning as they were showing video of the air attacks in Ukraine by Russia, they ran an Applebee’s ad on split screen — side-by-side with the headline “Russia Invades Ukraine.” Social media criticism of the production gaffe was widespread as invasion developments continued.
* In fairness, most of Applebee’s food is a gut bomb.
* “They say an army travels on its stomach. And that’s why there’s Applebee’s Take Out – meals ready to go, whereEVER you go.”
* In addition to their new Tipsy Leprechaun signature cocktail, Applebee’s is introducing the Ravaging Ruskie Vodka Blast.
* You can’t tell me Fox News wasn’t taking notes on how to sell sponsorships of the next war. “The Invasion of Poland, brought to you by MyPillow! Sleep soundly while all hell is breaking loose on the other side of the world. MyPillow!”

CHEAPER TO FLY TO PARIS DISNEYLAND THAN VISIT THE ONE IN CALIFORNIA

Los Angeles TV station KTLA has done the math and determined it would be cheaper to spend a vacation in Paris than go to Disneyland, just down the road in Anaheim. The news outlet said that in June 2022, it will cost a total of $4,571.50 for two people to stay at the Paradise Pier Hotel – the cheapest Disneyland resort available – for six nights with five days of park tickets included. Comparatively, at Disneyland Paris – 15 miles from Paris – the cheapest on-property hotel, the Hotel Santa Fe, was quoted at $2,173.66 for a seven day, six-night stay with theme park tickets but without meals or insurance. Even with a $1,456.74 flight from Los Angeles to Paris included, the experience would still come out to a grand total of $3,676.06 – a cost savings of $895 by going to Disneyland in Paris instead of Anaheim.
* Plus, you get a better class of people who will be rude to you at Disneyland Paris.
* You also save the cost of gas driving from L.A. to Anaheim, so that’s another couple hundred bucks.
* These are vacations for two? So the kids stay home and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
* The rides at Disneyland Paris are a little different, too:
– Pirates of the English Channel
– The Hall of Executed Royals
– Le Twilight Zone Tower of Quelle Horreur! (kehl oh-ruhr!)
– Alice in Wonderland’s Mad Wine Party
– Surrender Mountain – it’s like Splash Mountain but the ride goes in reverse
– Finding Nemo, and Turning Him Into Bouillabaisse
– It’s a Small World, And France Is The Center Of It

U.S. NEWS

BURGLAR CAUGHT ROBBING POLICE STATION

About 10 o’clock Wednesday night, police personnel at the 52nd Precinct in the Bronx discovered a robber inside the commanding officer’s office. He had apparently entered by breaking through a first-floor window. On being discovered, he took off running through the police station. The suspect, Carlos Luciano, was quickly captured and taken into custody, where he was charged with burglary.
* And felony stupidity.
* You know he was thinking, “How’d the cops get here so quick?”
* Among other things, he was searching the commanding officer’s office for a Get Out of Jail Free card.
* They ought to reduce his sentence just for saving them a lot of trouble capturing him.

FORMER POLICE CHIEF IN SOME TROUBLE

The former Police Chief of Chadbourn, South Carolina was arrested early last Thursday morning. Anthony Spivey was taken in for over 70 felony charges, which include:
– Mishandling evidence
– Repeatedly raiding the evidence room and stealing narcotics, thousands of dollars in cash, and firearms
– Embezzling $8,000 meant for a family whose son was battling leukemia
– Failure to appear on 40 outstanding warrants
– Stealing two catalytic converters from his employer
– Faking his own death
– Leading officers on a chase
* So when he led officers on a chase, that’s when they decided enough was enough? Seriously?
* How did this work? Every time he committed a crime, they said, “Wait – let’s give him another week. I bet he does something else!”
* “I swear, your honor, if I had known any of those things were wrong, I never would have done them.”
* It’s like he looked at the Big Book o’ Crimes and started checking them off like a bucket list.
* A police chief mired in corruption. This is the plot of every Bruce Willis movie from the past ten years.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

COUPLE WANTS CHICKEN RING-BEARER AT THEIR WEDDING

A couple is Moreton Bay, Australia is looking for a chicken to carry the rings down the aisle at their wedding ceremony. What started as a joke turned into a real request. Lobola the chicken was given to the bride-to-be’s South African family as a dowry. The couple has become attached to the chicken, and thought it would be funny to have it serve as a ring bearer. The problem is, the chicken is pretty temperamental, so now, naturally, the couple is looking for an identical-looking stand-in chicken to perform the stunt. One chicken has been found, but she has a manager who would charge $3,000 for the wedding because, according to one family member, “Apparently when you say the word ‘wedding’ everything goes up by a couple of zeros.”
* Speaking of a couple of zeroes, when’s the couple getting married?
* Gonna be hard to re-coop the cost.
* If the temperamental chicken won’t play along, give it a good look at your roasting pot.
* It will not be the only pecker the bride sees that day.

GET PAID TO SMELL DOG POOP – ASK ME HOW!

A pet food company in Britain is offering to pay a dog owner more than $6,000 to switch their dog’s diet for two months and keep track of the pet’s poop smell. OMNI, a company that specializes in plant-based dog food, is seeking “a dedicated dog owner to sniff their dog’s poop, to test the effect a plant-based diet has on their dog’s digestion, stool odor and general health.” The winning applicant will be paid around $6,600 to use OMNI’s dog food for two months and report on the effects the food has on the animal’s frequency of bowel movements, odor, energy levels, behavior, sleep patterns, weight and fur condition.
* At least they didn’t say the word “flavor.”
* The company could save $6,000 and do the test themselves, but — c’mon, no one at the company is dumb enough to agree to do it.
* OR – and I know this is WAY OUT THERE – but, maybe … JUST MAYBE … they’re making this offer public to get some free publicity for their dog food.
* 40,000 years of eating meat, but I’m sure YOUR dog will love this new veggie food.
* Two months, say two poops per day, that’s about 124 poops, so $6,600 is over $50 per poop you have to sniff. Well, heck – I’ll do it.

TRENDING

STUDY: CLASS FIELD TRIPS IMPROVE GRADES

A new study from Brigham Young University, Johns Hopkins University, and the Heritage Foundation say school field trips, such as class excursions to local science museums or art venues, lead to better grades, better in-class performance, and greater cultural conscientiousness among middle-schoolers. Study authors report that there’s no harm to academics by taking time out of the classroom. Lead study author Heidi Holmes Erickson at BYU says, “It’s possible to expose students to a broader world and have culturally enriching curriculum without sacrificing academic outcomes, and it may actually improve academic outcomes.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you have a funny class field trip story?

MAKSIM FROM “DANCING WITH THE STARS” REPORTS ON UKRAINE INVASION

Just one of the stories from Thursday’s invasion of Ukraine by Russia comes from former “Dancing With The Stars” pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who spoke out on Thursday as he prepared to take refuge in a Kyiv bomb shelter. The 42-year-old performer, who is currently a judge on Ukraine’s “World of Dance,” posted a series of videos from his hotel room balcony as sirens and military vehicles sounded off in the background. Chmerkovskiy, who grew up in Ukraine while it was still part of the Soviet Union, said that Russia’s attack was dredging up childhood traumas, writing: “This does feel like the way it was when and why we left in the 90s. Like my old PTSD I’ve finally fixed is coming back. I’m crying as I’m typing this because all man deserves to worry about ‘bbq grills’ and not [flippin’] war. Hug your loved ones.” Chmerkovskiy shared video of families wheeling luggage and carrying belongings as they fled to safety. His wife and fellow “DWTS” pro Peta Murgatroyd and their 5-year-old son, Shai, are to be in the United States. Maks says, “I want to go back home. I realize that I have the way to, I realize that I have a different passport and my family is far away.” But, he acknowledged that native Ukrainians do not have that option. “My friends, whose kids are here, whose moms, dads and elderly people are here, they can’t just escape.” Chmerkovskiy emphasized that he was speaking not as “someone who is pleading for someone else’s safety from a far distance, from a safe distance,” but as “somebody who’s about to go into a bomb shelter because the (s-word) is going down.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

March 1, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 13, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Thursday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Sunday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:33 a.m. EDT
March 21, Monday – First full day of Spring
April 1, Friday – April Fools Day
April 17, Sunday – Easter
April 15, Friday – U.S. Tax Day
May 8, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 30, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Rashida Jones (actress, “Parks and Recreation,” “The Office”) … 46
Chelsea Handler (comedian) … 47
Anson Mount (actor, Captain Pike on “Star Trek: Discovery”) … 49
Sean Astin (actor, “Stranger Things,” “The Lord of the Rings”) … 51
Tea Leoni (actress, “Madam Secretary”) … 56
Carrot Top (ugh) … 57

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m like the universe; either expanding or contracting at any given moment.”

(A) Kirstie Alley
(B) Oprah Winfrey
(C) Sean Astin

ANSWER: (C) Sean Astin

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1940 – A hockey game (the New York Rangers vs. the Montreal Canadiens) was televised for the first time.
* “Okay – all you players smile for the camera! Uh – never mind.”

1913 – The 16th Amendment to the US Constitution was ratified, authorizing a graduated income tax.
* Please join me for a moment of silence as we fly our wallets at half-staff.

1836 – Inventor Samuel Colt patented his Colt revolver.
* One guess what happened to anybody who tried to copy it.

1751 – The first performing monkey was exhibited in America by Edward Willet.
* This may have given the colonists the idea of having their own senators and congressmen.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2011 – Susan “Suze” Rotolo died from lung cancer. She was the one time girlfriend of Bob Dylan, and the inspiration of some of his early songs. Susan appeared in one of the decade’s signature images, walking with Dylan arm-in-arm for the cover photo of his breakthrough album “Freewheelin Bob Dylan.”

2010, Marie Osmond’s teenaged son, Michael Blosil, was found dead on the ground below an apartment balcony in Los Angeles, California.

2009 – President Obama honored Stevie Wonder, his musical hero, with America’s highest award for pop music, the Library of Congress’ Gershwin prize at a ceremony at the White House. The president said the Motown legend had been the soundtrack to his youth and he doubted that his wife would have married him if he hadn’t been a fan. Wonder’s song “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” had been the theme song during Obama’s first presidential campaign.

2006 – George Michael was found slumped over in a car in Hyde Park, London. A concerned person spotted the singer and called police who after being checked by paramedics was arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs and then released on bail. Michael made a public statement about the incident and said “I was in possession of class C drugs which is an offense and I have no complaints about the police who were professional throughout.” He also said that the event was “my own stupid fault, as usual.”

1963 – The Beatles released their first US single, “Please Please Me.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. If you add THIS to your diet, you can burn more calories. What is it?
Hot sauce

2. Doing THIS for 15 minutes burns as many calories as an hour of moderate of exercise. What is it?
Shivering

3. It may be hard to believe but you can burn over 300 calories doing THIS. What is it?
Watching a scary movie

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