FRIDAY, Dec 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, December 9, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CHRISTMAS CARD DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Christmas Card Day honors Sir Henry Cole (1818 – 1874) of England. Cole created the first commercial Christmas Card in 1843. Just a few decades ago, sending Christmas cards through the mail was a holiday ‘must.’ Although sending cards through the mail continues to be very popular, the cost and time for writing and sending cards has caused many people to stop sending them. Free Ecards have surged in popularity. Animated Christmas and seasonal Ecards have made sending and receiving them a lot of fun. Today is a good day to send out your Christmas cards and holiday greetings. If you have yet to do so, use today to get a start.”

NATIONAL PASTRY DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Pastry Day is a fun day, created to encourage you to make, and of course eat, your favorite pastries. On National Pastry Day, well-known pastry chefs put on a show, making and displaying their finest creations. Be sure to try your hand a creating a new pastry.”

WEARY WILLIE DAY (It’s not what you think.)
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“This holiday was named for the character made famous by Emmett Kelly, who was born on this day in 1898. This is a day to appreciate the art of clowning and the impact that it has had on our lives. Weary Willie was a unique character to the art of clowning. Kelly had developed Weary Willy at a time when the white faced, goofy clown was the norm, and selling the idea for a sad, down-on-his-luck clown did not fit the formula most circuses were looking for. Times and attitudes changed when the country was in the depths of the Great Depression. Down-trodden and world-weary was the face of the nation. People could identify with Weary Willie like never before. Weary Willie, his frowning, whisker-shadowed face and his dirty, torn and worn costume, went on to become an American icon. Wear some big shoes, pantomime or grab a bunch of people and pile into a tiny car. Clown college could be just around the corner!”

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

THE BUZZTHOSE CRAZY WOMEN!

A woman on Reddit posed the question, “What is something us women do that baffles you?” Some of the answers:
– “Walk right past the thermostat and then sit down and tell me to go turn up the heat.”
– “How much hair strands they lose per day. It’s a lot.”
– “Pillows. Bed for two people needs eight pillows. Why? Couch seats four. Twelve pillows. Guests come over. Move the pillows.”
– “Waiting until you leave the room to start a conversation.”
– “Talking at low volume directly into an open kitchen cabinet is my wife’s specialty.”
– “And when they repeat it they never do the whole sentence, just the last few words and you have to guess at the whole statement or question.”
– “Being mad at me for something I did in her dreams.”
– “One of the baristas at Starbucks started writing me messages on my cup. This happened around 5 or 6 times, and then on Valentines Day she drew hearts all over the cup and wrote Happy Valentines Day. So I asked if she wanted to hang out. She was like ‘Oh no I’m not trying to go out or anything.'”
– “Had a convo with a girl who told me she had a guy ask her out but said no because she wants him to put more effort into it.”
– “When they ask you where we should eat. I name 5 things and they say ‘I’m not in the mood for that.'”
– “Asking me what I’m thinking. Saying ‘nothing’ is the wrong answer, but giving a genuine answer is far worse.”
– “How they don’t dress for the occasion. They dress for the arrival. And then after 5 minutes they aren’t comfortable.”
* Well, that’s all of them. I’m glad we got that all out in the open, and we’ve worked past it.
* Is the woman who posted this question a divorce lawyer?
* The scary thing is how common every one of these statement are.
* Seriously, what are men and women even doing on the same planet?
PHONE TOPIC: Men, what puzzles you about women? Ladies – what puzzles YOU about women?

U.S. NEWS

MAN HITS WOMAN WITH A CHRISTMAS TREE

A Christmas tree was used as a weapon in a man’s fight with a woman. Police in Saxonburg, Pennsylvania said a 35-year-old man and a 31-year-old woman got into a verbal argument Tuesday evening. Sometime during their fight, it “became physical,” according to an incident report, which is when the man took hold of a Christmas tree and bashed the woman in the head with it. Police were called, and the man was arrested on an assault charge.
* Right on the ol’ egg noggin’.
* Hit with a Christmas tree? Now you’ve gone too fir.
* He did it ’cause she was needling him.
* He picked up and swung an entire Christmas tree? Who is this guy? Paul Bunyan?
* I hope she retaliated with a Nutcracker.
* ♪♫ Ow, Christmas tree / Ow, Christmas tree / How prickly are thy branches. ♫

SWORD SWALLOWER INJURED

Well-known sword swallower Scott Nelson, also known as “Murrugun The Mystic,” was hospitalized in Washington, DC, following a sword swallowing mishap. It happened back on October 31st at the Six Flags of America amusement park in Maryland. According to Nelson himself, he was practicing swallowing five swords at once but he let go of them too soon and they “scissored” inside of him, going in different directions. The swords sliced his abdominal cavity, and a lobe of his liver was pierced. During surgery, doctors had to remove most of one lung. Nelson was in a medically-induced coma for several weeks, but is now conscious and recovering.
* Foiled again.
* What an awful time to get the hiccups.
* This used to happen a lot during the Crusades, too.
* I’m not sure he learned his lesson, He keeps asking the hospital cafeteria to make him shishkebab.
* Maybe he should change his act to something safer, like a human umbrella stand.
* He needs to pick something that isn’t so edgy.

FLIGHT CANCELED, STRANGERS RENT VAN TO DRIVE TO DESTINATION

Last Sunday night at Orlando International Airport in Florida: an evening Frontier Airlines flight to Knoxville, Tennessee had just been canceled. Stranded passengers were searching on their cell phones for other flights. People really needed to get to Knoxville by Monday. Suddenly, a group idea started to develop: let’s drive. 13 stuck passengers decided to rent a van and drive through the night from Orlando to Knoxville. They all headed to the car rental and got a 15-person van – perfect for 13 people plus luggage. They got on the road around 9:30 p.m. They numbered themselves – one to 13 – so nobody would get left behind during rest stops. Somebody pulled out a cell phone and started broadcasting the trip online, and they started getting feedback from viewers who found the feed. Said one passenger, Alanah, “We all were so different. And I think a big part of why people like it so much is because you could literally see our differences in real time.” The only bump in the road was passenger Michelle insisting on multiple bathroom breaks, which everybody joked about. Somebody suggested that this story would make a good movie. When they pulled up in Knoxville, (drive time 9 hours, 20 minutes without breaks) the group went their separate ways, but shared information to stay in touch.
* Carlos, who did most of the driving, summed it up best when he dropped off the last passenger and said: “Hey – where’s my wallet??!”
* Then they had to split the cleaning fee for when Michelle wet her seat.
* Oh, you bet it’s gonna be a movie. They’ll change the date to Christmas Eve. And it’s gonna have romance, danger, farting, and a baby will be born along the way. And they’ll call it “Drive Hard”.
* You know, they probably could have rented a private jet for the price of a couple of those air tickets, but good for them.
* It won’t be so cute in three days when they all learn one of them gave everybody Covid.

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE HAS SURPRISING CONNECTION

Florida woman Kathy Grace was participating in a clean-up operation at Fort Myers Beach in the wake of Hurricane Ian on Nov. 30. It was the birthday of her late husband, who had died several months earlier. She found a message in a plastic Smirnoff vodka bottle, signed by a trio of young siblings: Roman, Lesia and Zenon Mural. The note said the bottle had been buried on the beach by the Mural family, who lives in Lima, Ohio but were on vacation in Fort Myers on March 3, 2000 – on their father’s birthday. Grace was excited about her discovery and sent a photo of the letter to her children. Then, she got a response from her son, Michael, in Ohio, who told her “you’re not going to believe this, but Roman Mural and I went to college together, and we both worked at delivery company DHL.” Michael sent a picture of himself with college-age Roman Mural from when they worked together. Grace was able to contact the Mural siblings and tell them about her discovery and their surprising connection. They pulled up a video their father had taken of them on the beach burying the bottle as children on March 3, 2000, when Roman was 5.
* That’s AMAZING… I bet. I’m having trouble figuring out out all the connections.
* And now the Mural kids have been fined for littering, so, happy ending!
* Sadly, Roman Mural told Grace that in college, her son Michael was a real douche. (or jerk, etc.)
* This is known as Six Degrees of Smirnoff Vodka. It’s their next ad campaign.
* That’s great. Let us know when you find a buried shipwreck from the 1800’s, like those other Florida people in Daytona.
* PHONE TOPIC: My Amazing Coincidence.

MURDER HORNETS UNSEEN IN 2022

Remember murder hornets – the giant angry bees that were invading the northwest United States? The Washington State Department of Agriculture announced that it hasn’t trapped or confirmed any sightings of the hornets this year, 2022. The killer hornets, native to Asian countries, are an invasive species of 2-inch long bees that can ravage honeybee populations. In 2020 and 2021, state officials found and destroyed at least four giant hornet nests. Federal guidelines demand three consecutive years without the hornets being detected to declare they’re eliminated.
* They’re probably just waiting for the right moment to strike again. Like the McRib, or Mike Myers.
* I mean, Avatar is back after 13 years. It’s worse than locusts.
* Maybe all the remaining Murder Hornets were killed by the Genocidal Wasps.
* Oh, well – back to feral hogs, I guess.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

STOLEN GERMAN BULL SEMEN

Police in western Germany are appealing for help in locating the thieves who stole about 60 containers of bull sperm from a farm in the town of Olfen late Monday or early Tuesday. Police said the precious cargo needs to be supercooled with liquid nitrogen at –320 Fahrenheit degrees (–196 Celsius) so it isn’t spoiled (* Oh, so this is a cold case, eh?). They are seeking tips from the public that might lead to the recovery of the sperm, which was intended for artificial insemination.
* In case you were thinking there was another use for it.
* Who could have pulled off a job like this?
* The bulls just roll their eyes and think, “Well, back to work.”
* How’d you like to have the job title of ‘hired hand’ on a bull breeding farm?

TRENDING

“MONARCH” CANCELED

Fox’s country music drama “Monarch,” starring Trace Adkins and featuring Susan Sarandon, has been canceled. The show ended its first season Tuesday night, and while “Monarch” opened with a strong rating and ranked as Fox’s most-watched fall scripted debut in three years, the following 10 episodes didn’t perform as well, and Fox has pulled the plug.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Simon Helberg (actor, “The Big Bang Theory”) … 42
Jesse Metcalfe (actor, “Dallas,” “Desperate Housewives”) … 44
David Kersh (country singer) … 52
Lori Greiner (businesswoman, and TV personality on “Shark Tank”) … 53
Felicity Huffman (actress, “American Crime,” “Desperate Housewives,” college admissions scandal convict) … 60
Donny Osmond (singer) … 65
John Malkovich (actor) … 69
Michael Dorn (actor, Worf the Klingon) … 70
Beau Bridges (actor) … 81
Dame Judy Dench (actress) … 88

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”

(A) Bill Cosby
(B) O.J. Simpson
(C) Donny Osmond

ANSWER: (C) Donny Osmond

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – Canada approved the Pfizer/ BioNTech vaccine for COVID-19; The United Arab Emirates became the first country to authorize China’s Sinopharm vaccine for COVID-19, saying it was 86% effective.

2002 – United Airlines filed the biggest bankruptcy in aviation history after losing $4 billion in the previous two years.
* Well, you know they didn’t lose the money by splurging on the in-flight food.

1994 – President Clinton fired Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders after learning she’d told a conference that masturbation should be discussed in school as a part of human sexuality.
* Because, you know, Bill Clinton is an authority on what’s right and proper when it comes to sex.

1993 – The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II missile silos marked for elimination under an arms control treaty.
* And the Navy collected the missiles and loaded them onto subs.

1843 – Henry Cole of London created the first Christmas cards. He was late in sending holiday notes, so Cole hired an artist and printer to make copies of his Christmas message, which he sent to his friends and family.
* Smart move, inventing the Christmas card. Even SMARTER would have been patenting it.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2010 – Eric Clapton announced he would sell off part of his extensive guitar collection to raise money for his Crossroads rehab Centre in Antigua. The auction, held on March 9, 2011, raised $2.15 million.

2006 – Mariah Carey threatened legal action against porn star Mary Carey in an attempt to stop her trademarking her similar-sounding stage name. The singer believed fans could get the two performers confused if the adult film actress Mary Carey’s trademark application was successful. Eventually, Mariah filed a lawsuit, and won.

2003 – Ozzy Osbourne was hospitalized after being injured in an ATV bike accident at his UK home. The 55-year-old singer broke his collarbone, eight ribs and a vertebra in his neck. News of Osbourne’s accident reached the British House of Commons, where the government sent a goodwill message.

2001 – England’s Channel 4 TV apologized to viewers after Madonna said “m-f” during a live broadcast from an awards presentation.

1990 – Paula Abdul was taken to North Hollywood Medical Center after being involved in a car crash in Los Angeles.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In a typical year, almost 2,000 people go to the emergency room after getting hurt doing THIS. What is it?
Decorating their Christmas tree

2. Most of us will do THIS 3 times before Christmas. What is it?
Buy a gift for someone we do not like

3. THIS will happen about 150,000 times on Christmas morning. What is it?
Someone will propose

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