FRIDAY, Dec 2 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, December 2, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE CHESTNUT SONG; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL FRITTERS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Today is National Fritters Day. Before you can begin to celebrate this very important day, you need to know what a ‘fritter’ is. Many people do not know, making it all the more fun to eat your first fritter today. A fritter is fried cake or dough with fruit or meats inside. Whatever you do, do not fritter this day away without eating at least one fritter. Happy National Fritters Day!”

NATIONAL MUTT DAY
The National Mutt Day website says this:
“National Mutt Day was created in 2005 by Celebrity Pet & Family Lifestyle Expert and Animal Welfare Advocate, Colleen Paige, (also founder of National Dog Day, National Cat Day, National Puppy Day & many more) and is celebrated on both July 31st and December 2nd. National Mutt Day is all about embracing, saving and celebrating mixed breed dogs. National Mutt Day was created to be celebrated on two dates per year to raise awareness of the plight of mixed breed dogs in shelters around the nation and to educate the public about the sea of mixed breed dogs that desperately await new homes. Mixed breed dogs tend to be healthier, better behaved, they live longer and are just as able to perform the duties of pure bred dogs – such as bomb and drug sniffing, search and rescue and guiding the blind. There are millions of loving and healthy mixed breed dogs sitting in shelters, who are desperately searching for a new home.”

NATIONAL SPECIAL EDUCATION DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Special Education Day marks the anniversary of our nation’s first federal special education law which was signed by President Gerald Ford on December 2, 1975. This law is the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). IDEA made education available to all American children and this day honors the progress that has been made in special education.”

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

AUDIO: “INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY”

The title of the fifth Indiana Jones installment has been released, along with a kick-butt trailer. Hold on to your socks: “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.” (* “No, Indy! Don’t touch that dial!!!”) The film is scheduled for release on June 30, 2023. The film employs de-aging technology of Ford for its opening sequence, which is reportedly set in 1944, about eight years after the events in 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark. After the sequence, the film’s narrative will leap forward to 1969 — with Ford as his current self — for the rest of film’s action.
* Although his stuntman may disagree with that statement.
* Indiana Jones and the Dial of Soap? Indiana Jones and the Dialysis of Kidney Stones?
* 1969? And Indiana does not end up on the Apollo moon rocket with Neil Armstrong? I am seriously disappointed.
* It’s not directed by Steven Spielberg, but it uses his algorithm so all the jumps and thrills happen at exactly the right moment … like all his movies.
(Check out the trailer on YouTube. It’s got everything: trucks, trains, motorcycles, horses, subways, whips, Nazis, parades… It looks terrific. But then, so did Crystal Skull.)
CLIP: A bit of audio from the new trailer.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/IndianaJoneDialOfDestinyTrailer(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT THERE WAS NO S-A-N-T-A?

Reddit asked, “How did you find out there was no Santa Claus?” Some of the responses:
– “I was in second grade getting chicken nuggets on the lunch line and the kid next to me said, ‘I wish I could give these to Santa,’ another kid said, ‘Oh don’t do that, he’s not real! Keep lunch for yourself!’ Asked mom that night and got the horrible truth!”
– “Piecing together that Santa’s handwriting was exactly the same as my mom’s.”
– “When my parents asked me for tape on Christmas Eve.”
– “We googled ‘Is Santa real’ during first grade computer lab and the top result said “how to tell your kids that Santa is not real.”
– “My elementary school teacher told the entire class. My mom was P.O’d.”
– With our kid, my wife insisted upon getting credit for giving him all of the gifts. She was raised destitute, so I can see where she’s coming from.”
– “My sister did this to a girl on the school bus. This kid was a kindergartner, and my sister was maybe in the 4th grade. This little girl cried her heart out. I felt bad and told my grandma (who raised us), and my sister got her ass absolutely reamed.”
– “I had siblings that were 5 and 6 years younger than me so I played it up like Santa was real for a long time for them, to the point where my dad seemed concerned. He sat me down at age 13 to make sure I knew that Santa wasn’t real.”
– “When my oldest brother’s friend came over and played Santa. At first I was so happy that he finally came but then when he started chugging red wine and vomited on the floor I realized.. well, he isn’t real.”
* PHONE TOPIC: How did you find out Santa wasn’t real?

U.S. NEWS

GOLF ARGUMENT LEADS TO NOSE BITING

An argument Monday night between two men over a golf game led one golfer to bite the nose off the other in the parking lot of a casino. It happened at the Hollywood Casino in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. Responding officers arrived to find a man with “a disfiguring facial injury.” They were told that the two men had been arguing throughout the day over a golf game they played at the resort’s course. The biter, Mark Wells, 51, initially fled the scene before turning himself in. The nose was not found as the victim was taken to a hospital.
* Uhh…did they X-ray the other guy’s stomach?
* Couldn’t they use a sniffer dog to find the nose?
* When he bit the golfer’s nose off, did he come across any bogies?
* Worst game of “Got yer nose” ever.
* The duffer lost his snuffer.
* Boy, I hope he doesn’t wear glasses.
* I think this wins the spot as 2022’s weirdest story – by a nose.

MAN CHASES HIS OWN STOLEN CAR

In Minneapolis, Minnesota on Wednesday night, a father chased down his own stolen car – that had his children inside – using the suspect’s car. The suspect pulled up in the residential area in a stolen vehicle, hopped out and then stole the father’s car that had four children under the age of 5 inside. The father was nearby, saw what had happened, jumped into the abandoned stolen vehicle and chased the suspect. The father rear-ended his own vehicle, and the suspect jumped out and ran away. No injuries were reported.
* For a few minutes there, he was in his own Fast and Furious movie.
* He rear-ended his own vehicle? How does car insurance work in a case like this? Does he ask his insurance company to go after himself for the money?
* I don’t think I could stand being in a car with four kids under 5 either.
* The kids tried to get him to stop by yelling “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? …”
* And the dad now has a spare car for when his kids grow up and start to drive.

HELP WANTED: NYC RAT CATCHER

New York City is looking to hire a rat catcher. The new job listing for a Director of Rodent Migration is a position that pays between $120,000 and $170,000 — but also requires a college degree. The posting says the ideal candidate will possess a “general aura of badassery,” a “virulent vehemence for vermin” and the “drive, determination and killer instinct needed to fight the real enemy – New York City’s relentless rat population.” A 2014 study by city officials found that rats outnumber New Yorkers by about two to one, meaning there would be approximately 18 million of the rodents infesting the city today.
* It would help if you could play a flute and had your own Robin Hood hat.
* And make sure you’ve had your shots.
* Obviously, the cast of “Cats” has not been doing their job.
* Are Willie Wonka’s 10 thousand identical Oompa Loompas busy?
* We could ask China if they wouldn’t mind designing ANOTHER nasty virus.
* My suggestion: New Yorkers, how do you feel about pythons?

SCIENTISTS CREATE THEORETICAL WORMHOLE

Physicists at the California Institute of Technology created a “theoretical” wormhole and sent a message through it without disrupting space and time — potentially paving the way for more teleportation research, according to experts. In a study published in the journal Nature on Wednesday, the scientists say they created two tiny black holes in a quantum computer, simulating what amounts to a traversable tunnel between remote regions of the universe (* Well, there’s the giveaway – it was “simulated”). They say the “holographic” (* meaning FAKE) tunnel has the characteristics of a “baby wormhole,” and researchers will ideally move on to “adult wormholes and toddler wormholes, step-by-step.” Though researchers didn’t make a physical wormhole, physicists hailed the study as a thrilling technical achievement.
* You know – in a simulated, fake kind of way.
* Good work, boys! By the way, that grant money for further research is on its way, too…theoretically.
* Big deal. I’ve had stuff on my computers disappearing down a wormhole for years.
* Theoretically, this was supposed to be an exciting story. Sorry, folks.

TRENDINGMIKE RYAN’S TOUR BUS CATCHES FIRE

Country newcomer Mike Ryan’s tour bus unexpectedly went up in flames. The “Jacket On” singer did not reveal the exact day he lost the bus but turned to social media to share a string of photos of the devastating aftermath. The images show the back of the bus received the most damage. “There isn’t much good news here, but at least no one was on the bus when it happened,” he wrote on Instagram. “No one hurt. We’ll replace what was lost and keep on chuggin’ along.”

GARTH BROOKS EXTENDS VEGAS RESIDENCY

Garth Brooks has extended his Las Vegas residency at least through 2024. The shows at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace sold out in one day. Tickets to 27 shows were up for grabs. Fans had to register for the on-sale through Ticketmaster, and as many as 60,000 couldn’t get tickets. Brooks’ new show dates will be unveiled in May of 2023 around the opening of the residency. Fans who signed up for the Verified Fan Presale and couldn’t get tickets for the 2023 dates will be given priority access to buy tickets to the 2024 dates.

POPULAR BABY NAMES FOR NEXT YEAR

Parenting website Nameberry released a list of the baby names it believes will become very popular in 2023:
Alden, Archie, Elio, Everest, Cosmo, Linus, Omri, Sayer, Wilde, Yuna, Sunday, Tru, Billie, Breland, Celeste, Halston, Jolene, Louise, Luxury, Marigold, Noah, Romy, Rose.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Britney Spears (singer) … 41
Joe Lo Truglio (actor, “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”) … 52
Lucy Liu (actress, “Why Women Kill”, “Elementary”) … 54
Nate Mendel (bassist, Foo Fighters) … 54
Richard “Rick” Savage (bassist, Def Leppard) … 62
Stone Phillips (television news journalist and host) … 68

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I know not everyone will like me, but this is who I am, so if you don’t like it, tough!”

(A) Kanye West
(B) Will Smith
(C) Britney Spears

ANSWER: (C) Britney Spears

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – The US recorded its largest daily death toll for COVID-19 at 2,885, and for the first time the number of patients in hospitals exceeded 100,000.
– The UK became the first western country to authorize a vaccine for COVID-19, the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine.

2014 – Comedian Bill Cosby resigned from the board of trustees of Temple University – an institution he was long associated with – following renewed sexual assault allegations.
* Still waiting for him to resign from the human race …

2001 – Enron filed for Chapter 11 protection in one of the largest corporate bankruptcies in U.S. history.
* Largest? Oh, just wait …

1998 – Bill Gates donated $100-million of his Microsoft fortune for a worldwide immunization program for children.
* He loses that much behind the cushions of his couch each month.

1982 – In the first operation of its kind, doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center implanted a permanent artificial heart in a human being. Barney Clark, a retired dentist, lived 112 days with the device.
* So they didn’t quite get the “permanent” part working right.

1970 – The US Environmental Protection Agency came into being.
* Big industries needed a centralized location to send their bribes and payoffs.

1969 – Boeing’s 747 jumbo jet made its inaugural flight from Boeing Field in Seattle to New York City.
* I think I flew in that same jet over Thanksgiving.

1942 – Scientists at the University of Chicago produced the first atomic chain reaction.
* They were so happy, they absolutely glowed.

1816 – The first savings bank in the United States, the Philadelphia Savings Fund Society, opened for business.
* “Do I get a free toaster when I open an account?”
“What’s a ‘toaster’?”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Duran Duran said they were “outraged and saddened” at losing a legal fight to reclaim U.S. rights to some of their most famous songs. “Girls on Film,” “Rio” and “A View to a Kill” were among the disputed tracks.

2012 – Led Zeppelin received a prestigious award from U.S. president Barack Obama for their significant contribution to American culture and the arts. Dressed in black suits and bow ties, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page were among a group of artists who received Kennedy Center Honors at a dinner event at the White House. In his tribute to the band, Mr. Obama said: “When Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and John Bonham burst onto the musical scene in the late 1960s, the world never saw it coming.” The president thanked the former band members for behaving themselves at the White House given their history of “hotel rooms being trashed and mayhem all around.”

2007 – Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne made more than $800,000 for charity after they sold off some of their possessions from their former US home. Items sold included the family’s custom pool table for $11,250 and a pair of Ozzy’s trademark round glasses went for $5,250. The beaded wire model of the Eiffel Tower that adorned the kitchen fetched $10,000, while skull-adorned sneakers worn by Ozzy sold for $2,625.

2002 – Oasis singer Liam Gallagher was arrested and charged with assault after he kung-fu kicked a police officer. The incident happened at the Bayerischer hotel in Munich, the singer lost his two front teeth in the brawl and an Oasis escort was knocked out cold.

2000 – Thieves broke into the London home Madonna shares with Guy Ritchie. The raiders forced their way in through a basement door then took a set of car keys before loading up Guy Ritchie’s car with some of the couple’s possessions and driving off.

1997 – A man died after falling from a balcony during a Rolling Stones concert at Pontiac Silverdome, Michigan.

1997 – Whitney Houston pulled out of a concert sponsored by the Moonies two hours before she was due on stage. The religious group said they had no intention of suing providing the singer returned the $1 million fee she had received.

1986 – Jerry Lee Lewis checked into the Betty Ford Clinic to overcome his addiction to painkillers.

1983 – MTV aired the full 14-minute version of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video for the first time.

1976 – While photographing the cover of their “Animals” LP, Pink Floyd’s giant inflatable pig got loose and drifted over a power station – the photo of that incident went on to become the album’s cover.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a survey, 29% of men have never done THIS at home. What is it?
Cleaned a toilet

2. 10% of men keep THIS for over 10 years. What is it?
Their underwear

3. 47% of bearded men admit they’ve done THIS, versus 20% of clean shaven men. What is it?
Cheat on their partner

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